A New Year

I love New Years – love it. Not so hip on New Year’s Eve anymore as I get “older” (ridiculous I know!) but that isn’t my point here.
Every New Year, I always half-heartedly make a list that consists of 2 things: get organized and lose 10 pounds. Well, I am already working on the 10 (cough 20) pounds and I have decided that my idea of being organized is not in my cards unless I am willing to work on said organization an hour or so a day and well, anyone who knows me know I am NOT willing to do that.

This year I am going to do a few things differently. After reading Amanda’s blog with her recap of the Happiness Project, I am going to add a little of this into my “new way” of doing New Year’s. Here is my plan:

- One goal a month (stolen from Happiness Project)

- Work on said goal daily (stolen from Happiness Project)

- Review goal daily (stolen from Happiness Project)

- Make Vision Board for year (working on now – will post pics when done!)

- Play “don’t break the chain” on wall calendar:

So really, what all these little steps are going to help me do is simple – do something – anything – I don’t care but I will work on my goals daily and remind myself of what I want to attain with them.

Now on to my goals…

My health and fitness. Lift weights 3 days a week, cardio 3 days a week and most importantly – COUNT CALORIES!

Pick up house 30 minutes a day – shocking I know that I don’t do this now, but alas it is true I don’t.

Sit down with Ian at least 2 times a day to practice “school work” – we do once a day now and I feel he is ready for a little more

Write in spiritual journal daily:

Teach 4-5 creative classes total a month (including day time and night (more day than night))

Date night with Eric monthly (First one already scheduled on 1/7!!)

Cook – I don’t care what I cook; I just want us to eat out less often.

Sending Love Cards – send out 3/week

Mail D*mn Birthday cards on time – how pathetic is it that I have the cards made but don’t get them out the door on time….VERY!!!

Now, I realize I can’t work on these all at once and I am not really sure how I am going to sort them out but these are what I would love to get in order not only this year but forever. Here is to a healthy and happy year to all.

xoxo

The best yet

It is odd to think that at 32 years old, 3 loved ones passing in a span of 10 months that this was literally the best Christmas I have ever had. We didn’t exchange many gifts – don’t get me wrong, all the little guys walked away with way too much lute, but we exchanged love and memories.
My aunt Tammy came to Rachele’s to spend Christmas with us because understandably, she didn’t want to be by herself. She brings an air of lightness and happiness to all she does and says.

It was total craziness this year – just like all other years but something was different – we were all calm and were in the moment with each other, with love from and for each other. We laughed, we cried, we hugged, we shared stories, we loved – each other and the Christmas Spirit that surrounded us. We embraced it all and I will forever remember this Christmas.

Vomit

Lit – er – ally. UGH, I was SO grossed out tonight at Burger King.

First things first, why in the h*ll were we at Burger King when we are home in Austin and not on a road trip??  A promise is a promise – Ian went poop on the potty twice and that was our deal. Two times = trip to McDonald’s. At the last minute he decided Burger King was his prize. Whatever – we packed it up and hit the road.

We get there and it was pretty crowded but nothing crazy. After Ian slammed down a slide that states for four years and older, he talked Eric into going up with him. I thought – “yes, this should be entertaining.”

Well to say the least, my 2 minutes of entertainment turned into a horrified mama and the need to run out of there fast. A little girl had a horrible cough and kept on playing, and kept on coughing and next thing I know she is vomiting in a brown bag her mother was holding.

As soon as Eric and Ian’s feet hit the floor from the slide, I looked at him and said, “let’s go – now.” After a fierce hand washing session in the bathroom, we left and came home and put Ian right in the bath. Now, I am usually not so “germ a-phob” but seriously, I was completely grossed out by this. UGH.

Another blog

I was asking a while ago to help Team Survivor with their blog.  Sarah and myself said we would be the ones to get the content together and posted.  It has harder than I thought it would be to get out there until this week - until I finally decided to be completely honest with the readers with hopes they will in turn be honest with us and their stories - here's hoping!

http://ctteamsurvivor.blogspot.com/

Bubby Fairy

Well, she came, took all the bubbies, left an awesome present for Ian and left us with a little boy who is on his way to growing up, and a mommy who is sad.

Ian finally decided he was ready for the bubby fairy to come, so Eric and I jumped on the opportunity. We were at Target and he found this matchbox robot thing called “stinky” and said he was ready for the bubby fairy to come and bring him “stinky.” Now don’t get me wrong, this robot is annoying but I guess we had to take one for the team to get him off the bubby.

My baby is growing up…now if I can get him to poop on the d*mn again I will be happy about the growing up!

Race for the Cure

I always have such mixed emotions on "race day." On one hand, I want the whole breast cancer shit to be behind me forever and me not be a part of it anymore. I try to do this often but then it catches up with me - like it did today - it always does on race day.

But I still don't think of myself as a "survivor" - with that I think we are all survivors of life, of our daily issues and hard ships. I don't think my survivorship means anymore to me than yours should mean to you but I have this whole big race around mine and celebration towards it which gives me mixed emotions. I don't want breast cancer to define me, I want to be more than "I had breast cancer at 30, my son was 13 months, and we aren't sure if another child is in our future - oh, and I still can't lose the weight I gained" I don't want that to be in my introduction, I really don't think I want strangers to know that about me because I don't want pitty from them, I want truth and life.

But on the other hand, my heart was filled with love today out there with my team. You always know the love of your friends when they get up at the crack of dawn, fight traffic and see you with smiles on their faces all to be a part of this.

We walked this year and really took it all in and loved every minute it.

I guess where I am going with this is, I am proud to be a survivor but we are all survivors and should celebrate that every day.

Thank you all who were out there with me, in my heart and who supported the cause. It really does mean the world to me and I love you all.

Good-bye...with love

Dear Grandma and Grandpa-

I miss you so much and I will never forget the love you showered us with. I am happy yall are together again and can be healthy and whole in Heaven while watching over us once again.

You made such a huge impact in my life and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all yall did for us grandchildren, mom, Tammy and Van.

When I didn't know where to turn, I turned to you.

When I didn't know what to ask, I asked you.

When I didn't know where to go, I went to you.

You were full of love and generosity I couldn't help but learn from you.

I laugh out loud thinking of some of the things you both did - grandma, when you made mom and grandpa split the cost of my car wreck 4 ways so we each paid a 1/4 - no one ever thought of telling you no even though it was my fault and I should pay for it myself.

Grandpa, when you would make us drive the white bomb just to embarrass us or your corny jokes that no matter how many times you told them to us, we would laugh at them.

I still say some of them myself!

I love you both so much and I have a void in my heart with yall gone but I am happy that you are no longer here in pain and without one and other.

Oh, I love you and I miss you.

Until we meet again.