Sunday, October 15, 2017

A week in Cancerland

This past week was a fun-filled week of on and off migrations. <insert sarcasm>

I can’t seem to pinpoint a reason to why I get the migraines now. Before my bone marrow transplant, it seemed I would get migraines if I didn’t get Avastian right at 3 week intervals.

Now, for some reason, I don’t have to get Avastian to keep the migraines at bay. This is all so odd.

But it makes living here in Cancerland, harder just not knowing what is around the next corner.

On to some good news, I go to Dallas on Tuesday for my post 1 year bone marrow biopsy! It has been a year on October year. This has been one of the craziest years of Cancerland.

I am planning a 1st Birthday party for myself and I can’t wait!! Yes there will be pictures.

Monday, October 2, 2017

Always a sigh of relief

I never have any reason to suspect that the cancer could be back but of course it is lingering in the back of my mind especially when I have scans.

I had CT and Bone scans on Friday. I didn't expect to hear back from them on Friday but by midmorning today I was starting to get a little antsy that I had not heard anything. 

So I broke down and called even though I try to hold out and be patient but - oh well.
GREAT news - still NED (no evidence of disease). 

That makes almost 6 years of NED in my body and 4.5 years of NED in my brain!! None of this counts the whole MDS debacle.

Thank you all for the years of support and encouragement you give me… You never will know how much it means

Friday, September 29, 2017

Again and again

I know yall have heard me talk about this time and time again - over doing it.

Will I ever learn? Am I supposed to learn? 

I do feel like I learn something new every time I go through something like this, but then I feel like I learn the same thing over and over again. 

What is this elusive lesson I seem to learn over and over again - failure, being kind and gentle to myself and forgiveness. 

This past week I temporally forgot I wasn't superwoman and am trying to permitly remember I don't want to be either - way overrated. 

I was asked to paint 4 large paintings on a very tight timeline - like 8 days - and of course me thinking I was superwoman, I said yes.

I worked hard on these pieces - like really hard. I really like the final outcome, but if 100% truth be told it isn't my exact style. 

And I am not even sure what is going to come from these paintings. This COULD be a big opening for me into intererior art, BUT I have learned what I do and DON'T want - I do want to work in my own style and color palettes and if I don't someone wants me to paint something not my style, I still need creative freedom AND more time to work on and tweak.

So that sums up my week in a nutshell - OH and I had a CT and Bone scan today to top off this exciting week.

I am ready to crawl into bed for the weekend. 

Tuesday, September 19, 2017


I SO hope all you reading this have already seen the #KissThis4MBC campaign from Norvartis.

That was the big secret I was keeping about why I was going to NYC - I was asked be one of the ones to tell my story to Eva so she could hear our voices and what we all want the public to honestly know about Metastatic Breast Cancer.

Yall, this whole thing was SO amazing and from what I am seeing on-line, so many people have seen/shared/etc!! 

For every post on Instagram, FaceBook and Twitter using #KissThis4MBC Norvartis will donate $10 to Metastatic
RESEACH - which is more than SO needed because remember - Stage 4 or Metastatic is the ONLY breast cancer that kills. And YES, 30% of lower stage WILL become Metastatic if we don't do more research on this monster.


Sunday, August 27, 2017

Steroids making me manic

I don't know who all has been on steroids for any reason, but me and steroids have a hard relationship.

I KNOW I need them at this point to get my immune system to settle down, but man alive they do jack up my mind.

I have this nervous energy continuously running through my mind and body, yet I can't actually do any one thing because of my racing mind... I can't sit still and mentally focus.

I can't imagine how hard it would be to live this way all the have your mind always on?
I really feel for people who live with anxiety/ADHD/etc.

Saturday, August 26, 2017

(Backup) New "Crazy Flower" art in ETSY shop

People ask me all the time why I don't show and tell about my art here...honestly because it is hard to know what to post do y'all just want cancer life or everything? I am going to start going with everything because well that really is the real me...lay it all out.

Here are 4 new available 11x14 inch hand painted "crazy flowers" that mimic my "Renee In Cancerland" art work I created years ago.

Happy shopping!!

Friday, August 25, 2017

36 years old - Metastatic breast cancer takes another life

No... I won't ever stop sharing these stories of these fabulous women who are dealing with Metastatic Breast Cancer and F*cking die SO YOUNG.

She has a 4 year old little girl who is now left in the wake of confusion from this disgusting disease.

PEOPLE I BEG YOU to do more research. Not more mindless giving to anything Pink anything.
-If you need a new broom and want pink, please get it BUT not under the thought a large % goes to where it really should.
-Y'all SO MUCH research is still needed on ALL stages to see WHY it comes back as Stage 4/Metastatic in some women and not in others.

Yes, this post sounds angry because my heart hurts and I am mad and I don't get it and I want change and right at this second this is all I know to do.

Please send prayers to Natalie's family.