Yes, you read that right!!! We are driving home from Dallas right at this second.
Eric and I have been talking and of course I didn't realize what a big deal it is for me to be going home in 2 months verses 3, for my marrow to have melded SO well and easily with my old, and most of all I didn't REALLY realize that had I not had this transplant I would more than likely be withering away in about a year...like my body would just give out on me.
I feel like I have had so many second chances I now have a job to share my story and Hope, Love, and Light with who needs it. I know first and foremost though, I must take care of myself and family.
I want to thank all of you for all the prayers and great vibes you have sent and I am asking for you to continue to send because I realize I still have a lot of healing to do, and I need to patient with myself.
I am not am the best at being sappy, touchy, lovey in person...I do better writing it.
I want to give a heart and soul thank you filled with love to Eric's parents and my mom...these past months have NOT been easy on them either (besides the obvious their kids hurting) but they all dropped their lives to be here with us...there was never a question asked.
Eric's parents were with Ian and Eric the whole time while managing to juggle a newborn a few days here and there to help Eric's sister. They managed contractors to fix up our house (which I don't even know what looks like yet, but Eric and Ian love it!).
They held our home together with their love.
My mom was with me everyday and night..,even on the hospital bed! She would make me get up and shower and walk when I didn't want to, she would sit in the silence with me while I was contemplating what in the hell was going on and if I would really ever be healthy or home again.
This is my love note to them. I ABSOLUTELY couldn't have done this without them and I love them more ever second I think about it all.
Along with me getting better, I have decided I must write a follow-up book for this second 1/2 of the whole cancer gig, because let's be 100% NOTHING about this has been normal. Along with that want to start making motivational YouTube videos to forward me on to a motivational speaker path.
I started painting again this week! I know I feel better now that I am painting. Gina told me she can't wait to see what style comes next because ever time I have a trauma, I change my style of painting. I am going to work on stuff to give all my nurses...I will defiantly show y'all what I do!
9.5 weeks since I left home to come to Dallas for my Bone
9.5 weeks since I have been in my own house.
9.5 weeks since I have seen cuddled Lucy.
9.5 weeks since I have slept in my own bed.
9.5 weeks since I have hung out with my friends.
9.5 weeks since I have hugged them.
9.5 weeks for depression to start sinking in. The depression
hasn’t been here this whole time, but this week it is really starting hitting
me hard. I do look down the path I have gone thus far and think this has to
almost be over, but then I have thought that SO many time before. And so many
times before I have been wrong.
Then I have to remind myself.
This is not my all the time life…yes it is my life for now
but not forever. God please, don’t let it be forever.
I am still exhausted…more than exhausted. I wake up in the
morning, can barely choke down breakfast because my mouth is so dry and
everything tastes like cardboard. I gag a lot…luckily it stops at gaging. I seem to have a dull headache all day every
I thought I would have all this free time to paint and
create every day. I guess I forgot I need to have energy plus desire to
actually do these things.
I got a bone morrow biopsy today to see if there are any
happening. Please pray there is nothing abnormal happening.
I know no blasts is 1 step closed to going home. All I want at this point is to go home
I that sounds scary, but it is what needs to happen so my new blood can take over!
I do feel like complete crap today...my throat is on fire, I have mouth sores, my tongue feels swollen, and I have a slight headache. I keep telling myself that in the grand scheme of things I can easily lay low for a day or three and get through this.
I can't easily eat, so milkshakes are on the menu for me. Hey a plus?!?
I will get a shot tonight that will help my body produce the white cells I need to start healing! This is the day I have been waiting for!!!
Let's see, I don't think there is much else to report.
I will ask for prayers. Please pray my counts recover faster than normal and I get to start planning my move to Twice Blessed...which is the apartment I will stay in to continue recovering until I get to go home!!!
Yesterday marked a week of me being in the hospital for my bone marrow transplant...which is odd being as I got my new blood yesterday.
The big question I am getting is, how do I feel? I honestly fell ok. My head starts to hurt when I get too tired and I get pukey feeling, but as long as I am on top of it and let my nurses know, the medicine is keeping everything at bay.
My doctor said he is "extremely happy" with my counts and how everything is going! Today is Day 1, and my counts are still almost 6,000! I am praying they can hold on as long as possible because the further I can get to Day 14 (ish) with good counts, the less chance I will completely hit bottom.
I am bored out of my mind when I am awake, but I don't have energy to really do much. I just keep telling myself I have seen this road before and I know where it goes...up!
I miss Eric and Ian like crazy, but being able to FaceTime is helping me like nothing else. Ian isn't much of a phone talker, but with the video he is much better!
Thank you for all the prayers, thoughts and well wishes! I do feel them wash over me.
I will do some more videos this week too! Those are fun to let you into my world here.
I'm a Stage IV breast cancer thriver, mommy, wife, and artist, learning to enjoy and appreciate life despite having a terminal disease. This is where I share my experiences and show you how to do the same.