Thursday, January 11, 2018

Holley Kitchen

Oh Holley... I wish you were here for me to say all this to you.

Tomorrow will be 2 years since you went to live in Heaven, with too many of our other friends.



I miss your laugh.
I miss late night texts about everything.
I miss your fierce love-especially for your boys.



I know you know Kelli and Court aren’t here on earth with us anymore either... I know y’all are all hanging out together watching over us.



I hope you know what a HUGE impact your video made and still continues to make in educating others about Metastatic Breast Cancer.  You will be happy to know Kristi and myself still keep up the Holley Kitchen and The Lifers page. You would be horrified (like Kristie is) with my grammar screw ups BUT it is getting done and the point is still getting across.

I wish I could tell you the number of deaths from Stage 4 Breast Cancer has decreased, unfortunately I can’t. 

Tomorrow I am going to lunch with A & T to celebrate your life and a thank you to you for bringing us together.

We all miss you. We all still laugh about so much. We all still and always will love you friend.

Thursday, December 21, 2017

CBD oil

After posting a little snippet about me using CBD oil, I have received a TON of questions.

Here is my experience with it.

I have tried 4 brands total and with Kannaway being the last one, I have found my forever brand.

Since using CBD oil, I no longer need to take 
Ambien to go to sleep
Ativan to calm my nerves
Xanax for super hard days

Yep, I am no longer taking THREE Rxs because of CBD oil.

Now, here is what I have found out that works best for ME - you might need to experiment with your body.

I use:
Kannaway brand

Premium full spectrum oil - 
this is a thick goo that comes in a tube and yes, it tastes nasty. However, chew up 1/2 a cracker to mush, put my dose in and hold it all under my tongue for 1-2 minutes. I feel more relaxed within 2-4 minutes. 
From this, I fall right to sleep about 2 hours later when it is my bed time.

Vape Pen -
This is a liquid that you "smoke" but it isn't smoke because it is vapor.
I use this during the day if something is making my cranky - it is like a glass of wine when you can't!!

Salve -
This totally reminds me of vicks vapor rub (the smell and feel). I have been using this on my wrists because I am weaning off steroids from last brain swells from nacreous and getting off of them makes my joints hurt.

Energy Chews -
These make me feel like a cup of coffee for mid afternoon pick me up WITHOUT keeping me all night - I am very sensitive to caffeine.

What I have tried and do NOT like:
the Revive line because it has other herbs in it and I am super sensitive to any herbs. These made me have headaches, however, many others love.

What I am ordering next:
Super Greens
Pure Liquid Gold 

I LOVE the stuff you can put under your tongue because it hits your system without having to go all through your system.

I decided to become a brand ambassador because I know if this has helped me THIS much so quickly, I can't wait to see what else it is going to help me with. AND I want to tell y'all about it because - well, I love sharing helpful stuff.

If you want to take a look, go here:
https://my.kannaway.com/Kannaway/member_new/store/all.asp

You might get a little bit of sticker shock, BUT what they call a serving is more like 3-4 for me. SO, it lasts much longer than what the bottle says. AND, after me adding up the cost of what I am NOT needing, it is a saving for me.

If you have any questions, email me at ReneeInCancerland@gmail.com

Saturday, December 9, 2017

Survivor

I have gone back and forth with this subject, but I wouldn’t be being true to myself if I didn’t talk/write about it.

After Stage 1 Breast Cancer, I called myself a survivor...F*CK yes... I beat cancer and was a survivor.

Then Metastatic came along.

Was I still a survivor? 

I didn’t know.

I then took on the term “thriver” because I was going to thrive in my life no matter was.

There are always debates in #Cancerland about what we, us who have been diagnosed with Mets, want to be called.

Some say no, they don’t want to be a survivor because they haven’t survived this...this thing in their body.

But after living with this Stage 4 BS for 6.75 years (!!), I have come to my conclusion of I AM A SURVIVOR! And I believe that each and every person on earth is a survivor...we ALL survive some sh*t in our lives...I mean you are here reading this-right?!?!

So, I am here to tell you that YOU yes YOU are a survivor. It doesn’t matter what you have survived-you DID IT!

Be proud.
Roll around in that feeling and love every second of it.

Thursday, November 30, 2017

Long overdue therapy

Yes-I have tried therapy before, but I never clicked with anyone...

My first one was after having my son. I am pretty sure I had postpartum depression, BUT I thought I could work it out myself. I finally got a therapist who as soon as I walked in and felt the energy I knew she wasn’t for me. I remember her asking me if I was Catholic because I was talking about the guilt I seemed to have about everything-strike 1.

When I was first diagnosed with Stage 1 Breast Cancer, I found another one. I thought She was too old for me to talk to about my 30 year old life.

At some point in Stage 4, I found another one. She was pretty much my age and I felt we were more like friends vs her guiding me to whatever it was I was searching for.

Then I went to one who a great friend of mine recommended. I dug her at first then I felt like she started telling me her story-not there for that.

I had written it off and decided talk therapy wasn’t for me.

That is until I had a mini breakdown in H’s office telling her I just don’t know how to get into this “new life” yet again. That for the past 9 years, there has been a major change to adjust at least once a year but some years it has been 3-4 times a year. I feel like I am always waiting for the “other shoe to drop” because - well, it has been like this for so long.

As H being so awesome, she told me about this new program from St. David’s hospital for breast cancer patients. I went Wednesday and I LOVED HER!! She didn’t blow smoke up my butt, she didn’t have f*cking pitty eyes and we just vibes. She even dresses like me!

This is the first time ever I think therapy is actually going to help!

Here’s to my adventure!

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

New Art

I know I don’t post my art here near enough and truth be told, it is because it is hard for me to write about myself in a “look what I did” way. BUT I know if I am going to become the known artist and speaker I envision, I am going to have to learn how to do this with Grace and ease.

We (my husband) got most of my art us on the walls of my newish studio!! And I couldn’t be more in love with the feeling I get walking in there!

Honestly-I feel LOVE oozing from the walls!

Here - have a look 











So yes, this is the side of me you don’t see much of BUT with me feeling better and not having much happen in Cancerland I want you get to know me on a different level!

Hope you enjoy.

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

1st Birthday Party

My first birthday party was a huge unicorn filled room full of love and magic.






I have come to believe that I am a true unicorn in Cancerland.