Thursday, April 16, 2020

My Why’s


Why it matters to me 


I have thought long and hard about how to write this, and I finally feel like I have captured my truth.


I have noticed a trend that tears my heart up...people seeing issues in the world that don’t directly effect them so they easily write it off as “not my problem.”


Or people saying they didn’t cause the problem, so “not my problem.”


Or people who have found success believing they did it ALL on their own without help from anyone.


Or now with the virus... I feel like so many people who are healthy don’t see the need to stay home because after all, they are healthy and believe that they don’t “deserve” to be treated like they are part of the problem.


But here is how I look at these outlooks of “not my problem” or “you should have made better life choices” or “sorry for you” mentalities... I look at these thoughts in reference to my life...the fact that I am still f-ing alive because so many people used their lives on bigger things than themselves.


I look at all the doctors in my life. They wanted better for the collective...they all had/have a desire to do something for humanity...they put in YEARS of their lives to be able to save my life.


I look at the 26 year old stranger who donated his bone marrow to me. He had nothing to gain from him donating his bone marrow to me. He didn’t/doesn’t know me, didn’t know that at the time I was a 36 year old mom of an 8 year old. He knew none of that yet still signed up for the process that included daily injections for 5 days of filgrastim (increases the number of blood forming cells) then one day of donation and up to 7 days of recovery. ALL of this...without knowing me but to save my life.


I look at the medication that I have needed to help me heal, help my body fight cancer, help my mind find peace from anxiety and depression...all the effort that went into figuring out the formulas for all of it.


I look at when my mom went back to school when I was in 6th grade and how we used food stamps for 2 years to make ends meet. How the help we needed was provided to us without questions...without judgment...without making us feel guilty.


I look at all the people who take time to teach others their crafts without the expectations of payment...they teach because they truly want to better others with what they know.


I look at it all with a soft heart knowing that I would not be where I am at without help from others.


I want to ask you a favor...next time you see someone who needs help (maybe someone on the street asking for a dollar or someone needing a little more explanation to understand what you are trying to explain) I want to ask you before judging their current situation, to instead remember a time when you needed help and that help was given to you.


I want to ask you to walk down from your ivory tower and realize all the hands that helped build said ivory tower.


These are my why’s...my why’s of why I will always try to help others...because without the help from others I would not be where I am at today.




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