Sunday, November 7, 2010

Race for the Cure

I always have such mixed emotions on "race day." On one hand, I want the whole breast cancer shit to be behind me forever and me not be a part of it anymore. I try to do this often but then it catches up with me - like it did today - it always does on race day.

But I still don't think of myself as a "survivor" - with that I think we are all survivors of life, of our daily issues and hard ships. I don't think my survivorship means anymore to me than yours should mean to you but I have this whole big race around mine and celebration towards it which gives me mixed emotions. I don't want breast cancer to define me, I want to be more than "I had breast cancer at 30, my son was 13 months, and we aren't sure if another child is in our future - oh, and I still can't lose the weight I gained" I don't want that to be in my introduction, I really don't think I want strangers to know that about me because I don't want pitty from them, I want truth and life.

But on the other hand, my heart was filled with love today out there with my team. You always know the love of your friends when they get up at the crack of dawn, fight traffic and see you with smiles on their faces all to be a part of this.
We walked this year and really took it all in and loved every minute it.

I guess where I am going with this is, I am proud to be a survivor but we are all survivors and should celebrate that every day.

Thank you all who were out there with me, in my heart and who supported the cause. It really does mean the world to me and I love you all.

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