Mother of the week…

We were at the pool on Thursday with “our group” or The Fab Five as we like to refer to ourselves as (but we were missing one mommy, so really we weren’t!).  Eric likes to call us “the mother cluckers” – yes, there is a story behind that too!  Regardless, both names fit us well.

Syl was actually in the pool with the kids, while Gina, Teri and me sat at a table gabbed. Now granted, Syl does have an 18 month-old so really we don’t think she deserves THAT much credit for being in the pool with him! Us on the other hand  -having paid a lot of money to Emler Swim School to ensure our boys can swim…they.are.on.their own.

Gina said that Syl should get the mother of the week award – it was on!  We now have a plan to get an old trophie, doll it up and pass it around to us for the mother of the week! YES, we find ourselves FUNNY.

Now, here is where it all gets better.  Jill was telling me about this story yesterday and sent me the link. FYI – there are curse words in said blog post! But it is a funny read…read it!

SO, I am now on the hunt for something a little bigger than a trophie but not the 4 foot chicken to use at the mother of the week award and/or to pass around when someone is sad.  Yes, I will keep you updated on what I find.

I hope y’all had a great weekend.  We had Ian’s soccer game (which Ian scored 2 goals!!), had friends over and went to the pool yesterday…oh, and Ian got his first real haircut…I know 4.5 years old and only had haircuts from me…time was up!  Today we are getting our pictures done and I am so stinking excited.

Then this afternoon, we are going to start cleaning out the garage…why am I so excited to clean out the garage you are asking??  Eric told me we can turn it into an art studio and put an A/C window unit out there because I am out growing the craft room…WHOOT WHOOT!!

Ordinary…

It was in the middle of an ordinary week (well, my ordinary now…a lot of people would think my week is FAR from ordinary), on an ordinary day that it hit me like a brick wall…just what an incredibly blessed life we live.

It was a Wednesday….I had treatment on Monday and was feeling a little tired from it. I had set up my canvases at school that morning, went to PT and was walking through a parking lot to meet Gina for lunch when a friend’s husband was driving through the same parking lot – he stopped, we talked – he was going to meet a friend and his brother for lunch…that is when it hit me…what a blessed life this is…from so many different angles.

“If you say that God is good, great, blessed, wise or any such thing, the starting point is this: God is.”

I realize how easy it is to get trapped in up in your “woes” but try this for today – try to get trapped up in your blessings.  Even if they ONLY thing you can say thank you for is breathing – well, that is a HUGE thing to be able to be thankful for.

I started reading  and following 1,000 Gifts on twitter (I know, crazy me a tweeter…hey, I do it for Embracing Life!!) but what the people there post really get me thinking…it is the small things that make it all worth it.

Through me...Use Me

I read a daily devotional by Chris Tiegreen called The OneYear Experiencing God’s Presence…it has truly changed how I view my relationship with God.

I love the message it teaches – the Holy Spirit lives in us (John 14:17), Jesus is in us (John 14:20),and we can be filled with the fullness of God (Ephesians 3:19).

I try to live my daily life as an expression of God, be kind, compassionate, giving, forgiving, loving, etc as Jesus, to truly listen to what He is asking me to do and most importantly – DO IT!

I had a nudge a few weeks ago at church while two girls from the YOU (Youth of Unity) were talking about mission trips they are going on this summer and that they needed money for it.  I had a nudge, I heard a whisper – this is it.  What…God, what are you talking about…what is it? Then I realized, this was my chance to give of my time, talent and treasure.  I have been praying for a new way to serve my church since I can no longer be an angel to the pre-k class (too many kids + too many germs + mama going through chemo = not good!)

So here it was – a chance for me to help.  I asked them if they would be interested in me selling my canvases on their behalf and 50% of the proceeds to go to their causes – they were delighted to accept!

And, I did it!  I was nervous, but I kept asking God to calm me, and He kept assuring me he had the details covered and not to worry about it!

It was great – it was beautiful day full of life and love!  AND, it was a huge success!  I went in with 3 boxes full of canvases and left with a ½ box!

From the book: “Jesus, I don’t want to fall short of the potential You put in me.  Express Yourself fully through me and in me.”

Together…

Always.

Ian isn’t real sure about his new bike…I think it is a little big.  But Eric has been wanting something to do in the evening with Ian so he looked on craigslist (I heart craigslist…I mean really, where else can you get deals like this?!?!) and found a tandem attachment for Ian to ride behind Eric.  They went to pick it up Monday night and we had the madam voyage last night….It was love!!

Ian was nervous at first – just like his mommy! But they got on and road around the park, the pond and up and down some pretty steep hills. Eric said they chit chatted the whole way and Ian pedaled also!

This was a great buy!

Raising the bar

There has been A LOT of negative talk about certain non-profits lately – what they do with the money, who they partner with, what they DON’T do with the money, etc. I hate seeing stuff like this because I feel it makes everyone leery about donating anything to ANYONE.

The BCRC is a local Austin organization that has helped me more than words can express with my cancer journey and helped and continues to help so many others.  This is their first year to have an on-line donation campaign and I was asked to help them launch it…I couldn’t be more excited to help them.

After my first diagnosis, my best friend Marci reached out them on my behalf – to ask them to reach out to me, to ask them what she needed to know/do, what books to read and much more.  That same day I received an email and call from Runi, a patient navigator ready to help me.  Within the first two weeks, I went to a lunch with the Pink Ribbon Cowgirls where we discussed the pros/cons of me freezing embrios before starting chemo, where I was able to see others who went through chemo and were great, see others going through chemo to see they weren’t laid up in bed all day like I thought – I was able to see that there was 100% life during and after cancer.

Here is a link to my personal fund raising page.  I decided to set my bar high and raise $1,500. If you donated $150+ you will receive a 5X7 “love” canvas – kind of like this one.

PLEASE pass this information along to your friends and family.  This is really a great organization and they DO spend the money how they say and they DO make a huge difference.

This was a wonderful off weekend.  We went to my sister’s for the weekend.  Ian LOVES going there to spend time with his cousins – I love seeing him with them and the love between them all.

The Easter bunny hit the house and the boys were happy little guys.  Our egg hunt got rained out which was a bit of a bummer, but we made the best out of it and had the egg hunt in the house.

Here are a few pictures from the weekend - both the boys play baseball - their games were so much fun watch!



Remember the reason…

God gave us Jesus to be our way-shower, to bridge the gap between us and Him, and most of all to save us….from ourselves.

Jesus was perfect in every way – He showed us how to love, to show compassion, to give, to be kind, to be a good neighbor, to expect miracles and so much more.

On this Good Friday, we need to remember these things – we need to remember these things always and try to be more like Jesus everyday of our lives – to be that kind, loving, compassionate, giving person who does expect miracles from God and to live in thanks for it all....all the time.

Happy Easter

Learning to love again...

So, this post is going to talk about intercourse – IF you are under 18, don’t read…just FYI.

One thing I have noticed with this whole cancer gig is that no one really ever talks about the things we want to talk about – actually I have noticed that in life – we all pretend everything is great, life is great, there are no hardships – but there are hardships and sometimes things just suck and need to be talked about.

SO here goes – I haven’t been physically able to have intercourse since last May.  It hurt so bad I thought I was going to cry.  Then I just gave up on trying. I want to be able to have relations with my husband.

There had been a lot of talk on the Pink Ribbon Cowgirls site about lubrications and how we all (us cancer girls) thought this was our problem – no hormones mean no lubrication. Then one of our fellow cowgirls told us she went to pelvic floor physical therapy.  At first, I was like what in the h*ll are you talking about.  She and I are friends, so I messaged her to ask her some questions. I asked if the PT would “help” me out and was rolling laughing as I typed this to her! Gina asked me if she was going to relive my hysteria – if you have read The Birth House you will know what this means.

Oh, it was all a good laugh to me and my friends.  Then I went to lunch with my friend, and I asked her more about it.  She told me it wasn’t weird – it was just like going to gyno and it was just another appointment.  I decided what the heck – I needed help.

So, I emailed my Dr. to get an Rx for it.  Who knows what she thought after my email – I rambled on that I needed to go to s*x therapy and needed an Rx for it and one of my friends went, who isn’t her patient but another Dr. and blah, blah, blah.  She wrote back – here is an Rx for Pelvic Floor PT – sweet, I was in!

My first appointment was last week.  Sara, my PT, was awesome.  She is very personable, explained everything to me and made me not feel like a complete weirdo for needing to be there. She explained that so many times people think painful s*x is a lube problem and WAY too many times, people think there is nothing to be done about it. But she assured me there is something to be done.  When I left last week, I joked and said, yeah, I am fixable!! She told me I am completely fixable.

A good tip for you women out there – use Coconut Oil for lubrication…cheap, easy and healthy!

So, my homework is to use dilators daily to expand me.  She told me I might need to do this for 2-3 months…I guess it is true what they say, use it or lose it.

This week when I went she did a deep tissue massage on the fibers of the body that are all connected (no, I can’t remember the name and google isn’t helping me any).  She massaged my lower abdomen and inner thighs and it freaking HURT.  She told me it wouldn’t feel good and it would leave bruising and yeap, it did.  This is to help “break up” the tissue and make it more expandable. 

From now on, she said she would do the deep tissue massage, and then when I am ready, I will start working on Kegels.

I am super excited though because I was telling Dr. H’s nurse last week about this (I am first patient they have sent there) and she asked me today how it was going and that she wanted to start sending more people there – I think this totally needs to be an option for women and not just be told to use an estrogen cream and “relax”. If you have any questions about this, please feel free to ask.