Monday, April 2, 2012

Learning to love again...

So, this post is going to talk about intercourse – IF you are under 18, don’t read…just FYI.
One thing I have noticed with this whole cancer gig is that no one really ever talks about the things we want to talk about – actually I have noticed that in life – we all pretend everything is great, life is great, there are no hardships – but there are hardships and sometimes things just suck and need to be talked about.

SO here goes – I haven’t been physically able to have intercourse since last May.  It hurt so bad I thought I was going to cry.  Then I just gave up on trying. I want to be able to have relations with my husband.

There had been a lot of talk on the Pink Ribbon Cowgirls site about lubrications and how we all (us cancer girls) thought this was our problem – no hormones mean no lubrication. Then one of our fellow cowgirls told us she went to pelvic floor physical therapy.  At first, I was like what in the h*ll are you talking about.  She and I are friends, so I messaged her to ask her some questions. I asked if the PT would “help” me out and was rolling laughing as I typed this to her! Gina asked me if she was going to relive my hysteria – if you have read The Birth House you will know what this means.

Oh, it was all a good laugh to me and my friends.  Then I went to lunch with my friend, and I asked her more about it.  She told me it wasn’t weird – it was just like going to gyno and it was just another appointment.  I decided what the heck – I needed help.

So, I emailed my Dr. to get an Rx for it.  Who knows what she thought after my email – I rambled on that I needed to go to s*x therapy and needed an Rx for it and one of my friends went, who isn’t her patient but another Dr. and blah, blah, blah.  She wrote back – here is an Rx for Pelvic Floor PT – sweet, I was in!

My first appointment was last week.  Sara, my PT, was awesome.  She is very personable, explained everything to me and made me not feel like a complete weirdo for needing to be there. She explained that so many times people think painful s*x is a lube problem and WAY too many times, people think there is nothing to be done about it. But she assured me there is something to be done.  When I left last week, I joked and said, yeah, I am fixable!! She told me I am completely fixable.

A good tip for you women out there – use Coconut Oil for lubrication…cheap, easy and healthy!

So, my homework is to use dilators daily to expand me.  She told me I might need to do this for 2-3 months…I guess it is true what they say, use it or lose it.

This week when I went she did a deep tissue massage on the fibers of the body that are all connected (no, I can’t remember the name and google isn’t helping me any).  She massaged my lower abdomen and inner thighs and it freaking HURT.  She told me it wouldn’t feel good and it would leave bruising and yeap, it did.  This is to help “break up” the tissue and make it more expandable. 

From now on, she said she would do the deep tissue massage, and then when I am ready, I will start working on Kegels.

I am super excited though because I was telling Dr. H’s nurse last week about this (I am first patient they have sent there) and she asked me today how it was going and that she wanted to start sending more people there – I think this totally needs to be an option for women and not just be told to use an estrogen cream and “relax”. If you have any questions about this, please feel free to ask.
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