4 Steps

Today we had a guest speaker at church and he was great.  He was talking about “interesting times” – how these are the times that God uses to grow us.  And we (as free-will individuals) have the choice to make every day (especially in “interesting times”) if we are going to be in the moment joyfully or pissed off (no, he didn’t use these words) because either way, we are going to stay in the moment until it passes.

Proverbs 15:13

“A joyful heart makes a cheerful face; but when the heart is sad, the spirit is broken”

I have had some anxiety lately – there have been a lot of “interesting times” happening with some of my cancer friends – reoccurrences, hospital stays and worse – of course all these lead me to play the “what if” game….then my head is so wrapped up in the what if’s, it is hard for my heart to get to the truth back out to me…I AM NED (NO evidence of disease)…end of story…that is all I need to know for today, that is all I have is today – today.

So our speaker spoke on 4 steps to get us out of our heads when it all comes crashing down and get us back to our heart – to where we can hear God and listen.

-        Hope on a foundation of gratitude “Hope is the dream of someone awake”

Hope is such a beautiful thing. Hope can truly get you through SO much.  Just the thought of it being a tiny bit better is hope and that thought is enough to carry you through.

-        Faith. Trust and belief in something you don’t see.  I don’t believe we don’t see God – I believe we can choose to see Him in everything.  BUT I know it takes faith to believe in His love for us, His hand reaching out you in the dark.

-        Joy – when your heart shows up on your face. Our speaker was given 6 months to live – over a year ago.  He said it all with his JOY to be up there, speaking, showing us – he said, we all only know we have today so we mice well l dance (all while do a little dancing jog on stage!)

-        Love – love is all around us – all the time – it is up to us to look for it, feel it, and return it, BUT it is always around us.

-        All of these are on a foundation of gratitude.  Gratitude for what we have – not longing for what we want.  Even in the midst of dark, dark times – we have SO much to be thankful for.  When I was smack in the middle of chemo and I honestly thought I couldn’t do one more treatment, I prayed and saw this vision in my head…A BIG canyon…I was on one side and Eric and Ian were on the other. God told me NOT to look down, look only ahead to them.  I did just as He said, and He held my hand all the way across the canyon to them.  I realized then that I am alive, I always have Him there to hold my hand, I have an AWESOME family and friends, I have a talent that lets me speak my heart, Eric is able to provide for us in an amazing way, etc, etc, etc, etc – the list could seriously going on forever.  That is when it hit me – I have to be thankful for what I have – not long for what I want.

I have to remember this everyday - I know we each need to remember this every day.  I know we all are going through our own times – some more interesting than others, but there is something in your situation that you can be grateful for – find it and hold on it.

Grandpa…I miss you

At church yesterday, Steve was talking a lot about fathers and we did a prayer/mediation on our fathers, grandfathers, any man in our lives who played an important role.

It made me miss my grandpa…a lot.

All I saw while in mediation was his smiling face, shaky that GAWD awful gold bracelet at me (yes, think Jersey Shores (well, I think because I have never actually watched that show)).  He would shake it and say, “Get a load of that kid” and I would roll my eyes at him and we would laugh.

Or how when we (all the grandkids) were old enough to drive and have our own cars, when our cars broke down (which they always did) he was willing to let us borrow a car (well, I think grandma made him be willing but he always let us borrow a car) but the kicker was, it was the biggest POS car – he had nice cars and he had POS cars – we got the POSes! And I am pretty sure he got a real kick out of making us drive these cars!

Or when we were young and he was driving us, he would say “binders on” and make a brake sound like school bus – always made us laugh.

Or how it was his mission to make each and every Christmas bigger and better than the one before – we would all go over to grandma and grandpa’s for Christmas – I never realized how much I would miss those days.

Or how he 100% believed is us and all of our dreams. 

Or how when we would go over to their house, they would be outside sitting on the porch waiting for us to get there.

Oh, there is so much I miss about both of them.  I never knew I would miss them this much. I never knew I would wish to get all those times back with them when I thought I had so much more important things to do than be there with them.

I know they are happy and at total peace where they are and are with me all the time in my heart, but I wish I could hug them one more time.

Fun was had by all..

And A LOT of fun at that!

Eric and I wanted to tell our friends thank you for helping us through one of the hardest parts of our lives, and we thought what better way than throw a party…on the lake!

We rented a party barge with a slide, got lots of food and had a ton of fun!

 A little chest bumpin' to start the day off

 Eric was first down the slide

 And everyone else followed....all day long

A little exploring at end of day around the island.

I don't know how many times those boys went down that slide...they were all drunk on tired at end of day!

The adults had a great time hanging out...honestly, not really that different from our day today with the "Fab Five"

When I told everyone thank you, I threw in a shout out to the husbands...for working so us girls can do what we do and that the girls were able to help me the way they did/do!

Here is to my girls - without them life would be SO boring and a whole lot more challanging.

Celebrate

Our preacher preached about celebration on Sunday – how we are really good at celebrating BIG things in our lives – holidays, birthdays, milestones, promotions, etc.

And those are all great things to celebrate – but what about all the small things that make up our days, our weeks, our lives – all the small things that make our hearts bust in excitement – but we don’t celebrate them because we don’t feel they are “big enough” for celebration?

Psalms 100:1

A Psalm for Thanksgiving. Shout joyfully to the LORD, all the earth.

It doesn’t say only for big things.

I have started then stopped, started then stopped, started – you get it – keeping a gratitude journal.  I want to turn this into a celebration journal too. Write down my small victories to celebrate daily – no that doesn’t mean celebrate with a glass of wine and cupcake (not anymore at least)

Just celebrate – say it out loud that I am proud of something I did, recognize any and all achievements.

Celebrate with y’all, with Eric, my friends, family, strangers – who ever.

I have gotten better celebrating my NED (NO evidence of disease) status – when someone asks me how I am – without missing a beat I almost shout – wonderfully great.  Still NED, still feeling great! I no longer have a but, not sure, eh in there – there is no room for that with NED!

I need to get better at celebrating my small victories with life, home life, business.

I think I should celebrate the nights I cook dinner; when all the laundry is done; when I have 6 orders waiting for me to get out; when Ian helps me clean up his stuff – it is these things that are life and should be celebrated.

What can you celebrate today – big or small??