Craft Report

Well, I am so sad to report, that my first craft fair was a bust…a BIG FAT UGLY BUST! BUT – I keep telling myself it wasn’t my stuff that wasn’t selling – nobody’s stuff was selling. A lady next to me said her whole table sold out last year and this year, she sold 2 things.

I would be lying if I didn’t say I wasn’t very disappointed in the whole thing, or that my ego didn’t take a major blow or that it wasn’t hard work….all of it – getting ready for it, being there and feeling like I was there wasting my time when I could be at home with Eric and Ian.

I am going to give it another try being as I already signed up and paid for this weekend and I am revamping some items and making a few new, SMALLER things. I had nothing under $10 at this last one, and I am making some bookmarks, magnets and brag books that will all be under $10 and hopefully suck people in!

In the meantime, if you see anything you like and are willing to “pimp my product” as Jenn calls it, let me know and I will make you whatever you would like in return for pimping my product! I am still working on a web-site, which I really hope to have up and running in a few weeks –before Christmas at least.

Other than the craft shows, things are going well. Running is good but I still haven’t lost any actual weight – SO frustrating. I go to the oncologist next Tuesday which I am SO looking forward to. I have a whole book of questions I want to ask her and most importantly – when can we get back on the baby making train?!?!

I felt a real dip in my energy this weekend and at the beginning of this week. It is crazy now that I know what to look for and spot a little depression creeping in, it makes it a lot easier to head it off at the pass, but regardless, it is still there and I still have to work on keeping it at bay on a daily basis.

Pictures from the show:
Journals - can be personalize

Clipboards - can be personalized

Overall display

Scrapbook photo holder

White Erase boards with matching magnets

Falling in love

It happens so quick
I don’t think you can say when
But after you realize where you are
You know
There is no turning back
Love is magical
In so many ways
It can comfort
It can sooth
It can hold you
It can stress
Just because,
It is love
Doesn’t mean…
It is always
Easy
I learned today
My love of crafts
My desire for a business
My need to succeed…
All things I love
All things that stress

Wilted Weed

It was the most beautiful
Flower of them all
It wasn’t bright,
It didn’t smell good
Or was it even a whole weed
It wasn’t in a fancy bouquet
But it was the most beautiful gift ever
He picked it with love
And gave it with a smile,
A hug and kiss…
My heart was only a puddle on the floor

Time well spent

Rachele and I made a pretty impulsive and quick trip out to California after mom told us grandma wasn't doing well. Grandma has alztimers (sp??) and she has good days, and well, not so good days. I really had no idea what to expect when we got there - is she going to remember me, is she going to have a really bad day, I didn't know what was going to happen. But, I am SO happy to report, the trip was great and she did great while we were there. She remembered both Rachele and myself, childhood stories and a little about our families.

We did lots of fun stuff - as usual when we are with Aunt Tammy. We went out to a Japenese Steakhouse for lunch, which everyone enjoyed and then we went to Bogle, my all time favorite winery ever! We did the tasting room where Rachele almost spit out her taste - she is a fool and does like wine! Grandma enjoyed a few glasses of watered down wine which was a good thing because she drank them like water. When she told us she just tipped it up and poured it back, I knew it was my grandma! We celebrated Tammy's 50th birthday which was a lot of fun and just had a really great time out there!

I can rest easy with these memories I have of grandma and not using my imagination to conjure up some story I had imagined. I realized it isn't all my imagination and she does have horrible days, but I can live in my happy world for now with my memories.
Playing the Wii - she LOVES to bowl and is really good on it!

Grandpa helping her with set-up

Rachele, Aunt Tammy and Cousin Whitney

All of us!

One year later

WOW is all I can say. I just read all my posts from exactly one year ago and I remember it all like it was yesterday. I didn’t know just how much my, our, lives would be turned upside down, I didn’t know how much pain I was going to be able to take and hide from everyone, I didn’t know just how much I would miss “normal” until it was so long gone, I didn’t know if I would really ever remember it or be able to get back to it. I didn’t know much of anything last year on this exact date but the one thing I did know, I was going to kick cancer’s ass – I had no choice but to do it, I had a family I was not willing to leave mother and wifeless, I had friends who will always need my advice (or I like to think so!), I had a mom who needed her baby, I had a sister who wouldn’t do well without me…I had my life ahead of me, I had to suck it up, be strong and deal with it – and that is what I did for 16 weeks of hell.

It is funny, people tell me all the time how strong I am, but I don’t think I am any stronger than any one of you. We all do what we have to do when we have to do it – yes, it sucks, yes, it is hard and yes, we are so much better people for having done it.

So much happened in a year, 365 little days and some of those days, I didn’t know how I was going to make it to the next, so I took it hour by hour and sometimes minute by minute, but all the pain, all the hurt, all the tears were worth it – I learned to follow my heart, I learned to slowdown, I learned to not sweat the small shit and 99.9% of it is small shit, and most of all - I am healed, I am happy, I am strong, I am loved and I love.

Stuff…

I love that I don’t have anything specific to write about lately – that to me means my life has settled down into a normal, everyday life that I longed for last year at this.
We have had a busy, busy week and weekend – as usual. I had to let the ole toe heal for a week, so I wasn’t able to run from last Friday until this Friday when I did meet Stacy to run 8 miles. I have found my free therapy with these long runs!

Eric’s parents have been in town which has been great. They watched Ian for us and it fabulous to be able to get out of the house childfree. Don’t get me wrong, I love our little bug, but yes, yes it is great to get out without him!

I am busy working on the craft fair event for the bclub, which I am so excited about. I love being involved in projects and something with an outcome as great as this is perfect for me. I also signed up to be a vendor at 2 craft fairs at the end of Oct for Leopards & Lilies and I am SO excited to start getting things going. I really feel like once I sorted all my old lingering feeling and got myself cleared and centered again, things are really started happening easily for me, which is wonderful and I am so grateful for.