On paper

I was sent a packet of information to fill out as to why I should still be able to receive social security...basically prove I am still disabled even though my scans show clean. Because the way they see it, I should be able to preform my old job as an assistant property manager…maybe I should have them talk to my old boss to see what all that job actually requires.

What my scans don't show are how I have zero ability to multitask, when I look at a computer/phone/TV too long I get a massive headache, that when I get flustered my first response is to cry because I am mad at myself and embarrassed, and that doesn’t even take into account me driving…how driving more than 15 minutes leaves me exhausted even if traffic isn’t bad, how on chemo weeks I can sleep 16 hours a day…unfortunately this list could go on and on.

So there I was with Eric filling out this packet of information, and it came to the current medicine part. This is where I lost it. I had just received 4 new prescriptions that I need to start taking for the bone marrow transplant, so I was filling my pill box with all this new stuff. I was telling Sara about the SS BS, while I was doing this and broke down. I said THIS TABLE FULL of RX does NOT look like one of a healthy person, and I don’t understand why I am having to go through this stupid shit?!?!

We got the paperwork back in the mail, I cried more and then I decided being pissed at them and mopey about it was not going to change anything. So we all went swimming and now we wait to hear back from them.