Thursday, December 11, 2014

How to be happy?

I don’t know at what point I started to believe I had to get all this stuff done in order to be happy?? 
I don’t even think “happy” is the correct word – accomplished maybe?

Whatever the word is, I am doing “it” again.

Here is what I have on my “to-do” list – and when I say to do, somehow in my mind that get turned around to “should have been done yesterday – you loser.” Sad but true.

My current list:
  1. Finish final FINAL edits.  I sent it out to a few people to read and am taking some of their suggestions.
  2. Make postcard to mail to those who order the book for a gift
  3. Set up FB page for all my stuff in ONE place – right now it is all over the place
  4. Twitter and Instagram – use it daily
  5. Videos – make some videos of me reading poems I wrote and some of me answering your questions. I feel REALLY called to do this…like REALLY.  So why am I dragging my feet?  I think I am scared of what will come from these - both good and bad.  I see other people get ripped apart for doing things on-line, and that scares me.

And the above are “business” things…I have a whole other list of personal stuff.  But I guess that is where I need to stop seeing it as business or personal – it is ALL very personal to me.

Back to my above statement on being happy – when did I get tricked into believing having a marked off to-do list would be my key to happiness?

I don’t know when, but I am trying to unturn that thought.
I just can’t unturn it right now, when I am SO close to having these things done…then I loop back around…will I ever really be done and if I were, would I really be happy??

I think no.

I think it is doing the stuff that makes me the happiest.

OH, there it is – I just answered my question…it is IN doing the stuff that I am happy.
I guess I need to chill out and enjoy the ride and stop trying to control this rollercoaster of life...God is driving.

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