The world doesn’t stop
I cleaned out my email today and noticed the junk mail from Dec 2013 – April 2014.Apparently, I never checked my mail those months?
Those aren't the only a set of months I have lost from cancer.
Lost in time.
Never to be given back to me.
I don’t remember anything from last Christmas or April, 2014 due to narcosis growing in brain.
All I remember is how bad my head hurt all the time, and how little energy I had. I was sleeping 12-15 hours a day during the worst parts of it.
I have other random blocks of time missing from my memory due to either or all: chemo, surgery, radiation, steroids, narcosis or depression.
I don’t know if my brain doesn’t let me see these times in order to protect me in my now?I don’t know if my brain actually doesn’t remember these times?
Either way...it doesn’t matter.
But what I do know from all these times, is that all these times that I don’t remember, the world kept going.I guess it had to?!
Best friends had babies, friends got married/divorced, new businesses opened and/or closed, neighbors came, neighbors left, friend's cancer got better or worse, and so much more.I look around at all that has happened and I wonder where I was in the midst of it all?
I wonder if this is how Alice felt in Wonderland?
I will never really know, but I will still wonder just the same.