Wednesday, November 26, 2014

So very thankful

Thanksgiving 2014

At first I thought I was going to write about how my last few Thanksgivings were really hard for me because my body wasn’t healthy.

Then I thought, I don’t want to talk about that BECAUSE this Thanksgiving I have SO much to be thankful for.

God – I see the way He works in my day to day life. I see He has always been there (even through the hardest of hard times) and He is here in my day to day life.

I am thankful I am able to share that this hope has been in my soul always…and that same hope that is in YOUR soul – even if it is a little covered up by uck at the moment…it is still there.  It will ALWAYS be there.

My soul –
I am thankful for the courage my soul has insisted on me having and showing.  I am thankful for the fighting spirit my Soul gives me in everything I do.

My family – It hasn’t just been me fighting these battles for the past 6.5 years – my whole family has been there.
I can’t imagine if the roles were reversed...if it were me watching Eric, Ian, my mom, my dad, my sister…I can’t imagine how hard it has been for them watching me go through this.  I know if it were possible, all of them would trade places with me in a heartbeat.  But to be honest, I am glad it isn’t possible, because I don’t think I could what they always do.

My friends – I throw them into my family category.

In a weird way, I am thankful for all the shit I have been through.

I have learned some really hard lessons, BUT these lessons make me who I am now.  A me I am really thankful for.

I DO believe because of my crazy cancer story, I can be an inspiration to others. 

I can show them that even when life throws mud in your face, you can somehow use that mud for the better. 

I can show them that it will take time to clean yourself off.

I can show them that it will take time to figure out how to use the mud.

I can show them that it will take time to get over being mad and appalled that this happened to you.

I can show them that it will take time to forgive whoever slung the mud…even if it was God.

All of it – it all takes time.

And that is ok.

I am thankful I have the time to figure all this out.

I am thankful that I found my voice.

I am thankful I have found my place in the world.

I am thankful I kept getting back up (yes, even if a few of those times I was forced up my Eric and my mom).

I am thankful me saying no, wasn’t really a possibility – even if it sounded like a good idea one day – the next day I knew what had to be done.

I am thankful.

I am so very thankful.

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