Thursday, October 30, 2014

Use me

People email or FB me questions all the time about their loved ones who have been diagnosed with BC of even some other cancer.

It is a love/hate relationship I have within myself about being the person people turn to.

I wouldn't even call it hate...yes it would be nice NOT to know all this stuff.

BUT, I do so I use it.

I was listening to a CD from church yesterday.
Let me back up a bit...I LOVE our church music. It is more than amazing, so once I month, I buy the whole month of past services to listen to in my car.
I always ask Spirit if there is a CD I need to hear on certain days. I found one from Fathers day.
The song is called Use Me.
It is a song to God telling Him to use me; use me here on earth to shine His light.

I found myself emerged in this song, turned up loud and letting in soak into me.  

So what is my point you might be wondering??
We have all had stuff happen that sucks.  My cancer sucks, BUT I feel like if I tell Him to use me it doesn't suck so much.
I guess my point is, to try to look at your problem and see what can come out of it.  What could be a lesson in it?

And hey, I get it.  I have had MANY lessons to get me to where I am doesn't come easy.  But it is worth the work.
So I am here to tell you, to stick with whatever it is you are going through right now.

For me, I am going through learning AGAIN what my body can and cant do. I am stressed about a craft fair on Saturday, that my friend is going to setting up my art at and selling it for me.
I am stressed that:

What if I don't sell ANYTHING?
What does that say about my art?
If I don't, does that mean it doesn't speak to others?
There is a TINY glimpse in my head of these horrible questions I throw at myself.

OH and I see Groves today with MRI results.  Yes, I stressed about that too.

I ask you, how/what do you think about to not be stressed???
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