Tuesday, June 18, 2013

What is breast cancer to me - part 3

I have noticed a trend when someone is newly diagnosed – especially with breast cancer – especially us younger women...

As soon as we tell people we have been diagnosed with the big C word, most of our family, friends and acquaintances in our lives rally around us – telling us we can do this – we can beat this – we’ve got this in the bag, etc.

All of which I believe – all of which I think is awesome to vocalize this support to one and other.

But, my question is – why do we wait to tell each other these wonderful words of encouragement, faith in one and other, uplifting words – why do we wait until a diagnoses like this to tell each other what strong, inspirational, awesome people we think each other is?

And this isn’t just about breast cancer.

Why don’t we tell each other these things on an on-going basis?

Why is it scary to tell someone who we think is awesome that we think they are awesome, that we think they are so strong and can overcome whatever, that they did an amazing job at something, that they are a Godly person through and through, that one time they told you something that really changed you – why don’t we tell people in our lives these things?

Why do we wait for a “tragedy” to hit someone we know before we say these things?

Hey, I do it too…just to be clear!

I think we wait because it is scary. We think – oh shit, what if they don’t tell us the same thing back.

BUT the thing is, when we tell people these things, we shouldn’t expect the person we are telling these things to say it back – we should tell people these things because we believe them in our hearts and we want to share this love with the other person – plan and simple.

Back to breast cancer – when I was diagnosed both times – people came out of the woodworks telling me what a strong person I have always been, if anyone had this it was me, I had a smile that lit up a room, I was such a great God loving person – SO many heartwarming things...I had this in the bag.

And I have noticed this with so many newly diagnosed people – they all hear these wonderful words of encouragement…which is great.

But my question is – why don’t we all tell each other these things ALL the time – not just when we are get horrible news??

Why don’t we tell  each other how awesome we think each other are all the time?

I admit it, it did take cancer for me to get this – to get that we should encourage, love, forgive – all of it – all the time...not wait until we are scared and don’t know what is coming next…do it now.
So, what I propose is that when you get the feeling to tell someone there are awesome, that you believe in someone for something, that you see an awesome trait someone has, that you see someone do something so sweet for someone else, that you think someone is a great parent - tell them.

Tell them all those little things that run through your head - those little things you think of them - those things that you think make them be such an awesome person...tell them!!

Don't wait until a tragedy strikes - tell them these things ALL the time...it is an amazing thing - for both you and them!!

The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.
 Morrie Schwartz
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