Learning to listen

It is hard for me to remember that I had 2 brain surgeries (well, Eric says 3 because radiation is counted as a surgery) a little over 6 months ago.

It is hard for me to remember that my body needs time...needs time to rest more than most, time to recover, just time...

It is hard for me to remember that I receive chemo twice a week.

It is hard for me to remember that if I push too hard one week, it takes me a lot longer to bounce back the next.

It is hard for me to remember because it all seems so normal to me.

I pushed too hard last week on my off week…and I am still trying to bounce back this week.

I crammed too much into my week, too many appointments, too many errands, too many lunch dates – which so sucks to say that because I crave those lunch dates, I crave that time with my friends.

I haven’t yet been able to find a balance on my off weeks…I always do too much of something and then the bounce back is slow, then I beat myself up and then – well, you know the rest of the cycle.

I am praying I learn my boundaries and when I can push them and when I need to accept them and surrender to them.

I am praying I learn to listen to my body and its needs.