She asked me how – how could I still believe in God…in a
loving God?
How could I still believe?
Because she couldn’t – she couldn’t believe after this –
after me – after me having Stage IV cancer at 32 years old…stage IV – non curable
cancer.
How did I still believe?
When I got cancer when I was 30 – when my only child was 13
months old?
Cancer in my brain?
How did I still believe God was good?
My question is, how do you not believe God is good?
Do you not see the love that surrounds me?
The pure love from my family and friends – that love is from
God.
The love from Eric that never waivers.
The love from my doctors and nurses who take care of me.
God gives that love to us all – fills our hearts with love
to share it all the time to those who need it.
Do you not see the grace He gives me?
The grace to smile day to day – even if it is always in the
back of my mind – what if “it” comes back?
The grace to tell the truth about it all – even in my darkest
hours.
The grace to cowgirl up because I have to do what I have to
do – even when going to treatment for the 2nd time every week is the
last thing I want to do.
Do you not see that grace?
God gives me that grace.
Do you not see the miracles that happen before our eyes?
Me getting on my trail drug one week – ONE WEEK before it
closed.
Me having the courage to insist I knew something was wrong
after my first brain surgery – to pretty much tell my doctors they were wrong
and the tumor was back even though it wasn’t showing up on scans.
Me walking again.
Me being alive to continue to love.
These are all miracles – big and small from Him. These are
all just the tip of the iceberg of my list of miracles.
But you can’t see Him – how do you know?
You can’t see the wind but you can feel it on your skin.
You can’t see love but you feel it when you hold your child.
You can’t see hurt but you feel it when your heart breaks.
You are right you can’t see Him, but you see signs of Him
everywhere you look.
Yes, I believe.
Yes, I know God is good and is God is love.
1 comment:
Amazing. Amazing. Amazing.
So proud of you Renee. Thankful you are using this suffering to point to Christ!! Scripture gets so real when you apply life struggles like what you and your family are enduring. Continue to WAR against this! You are living an I AM SECOND life an I think you should contact them and post your story. He is saving souls through your life!! Press on friend!!!
Post a Comment