Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Now verses then...

Eric and I were talking about where I am now verses 3 months ago right after the 2nd surgery – wow, what a difference.

Since the 2nd surgery (calling it a brain surgery and the thought of my head being cut open and parts of my brain being cut out still really freaks me out…really) my life has – our lives have changed multiple times – I think what has happened isn’t even called change – I don’t know what it is called…maybe we are just continuing to grow and accept it all and just let it flow.

I have gone from using a walker to a cane to walking on my own. I have a video and will figure out how to load it this week!

I continue to pray that the full feeling comes back to my right side again. 

I was never grateful enough for both legs and feet having full feeling…it was one of those things I never thought it – I assumed it was there – now and forever.

I am now working on walking in crowds. The stop, go, dodge, step side to side really throws me. I get nervous, flustered with myself and the surroundings – I am afraid of falling.

It is like I am learning to walk all over again – I mean, I am. But this time around I am much higher off the ground and a fall would hurt much worse…and I am well aware of it. I guess it is a good thing that we are so young and “bounce able” when we learn to walk.

I saw Dr. H  yesterday – I love seeing her. We went over my last MRI and she said it isn’t as grey as I had thought. She talked to the “team” she confers with on my case…it still seems to intrigue them and they all love seeing the MRI results.

The results: yes there is still grey matter (well beside my brain) and the spot where the cancer was is still different from the rest of my brain but it looks more like scare tissue now.  She showed us this MRI verses one in Dec and it is amazing how different it looks. It is like the brain that was removed and the scare tissue filling in the “hole” is molding to my brain and just forming around it.  Seeing all this makes my belief in God that much more – I mean the thought of these amazing things taking place, my brain knowing what to do to heal itself – it is a miracle and so amazing to even thing about.

This is where everyone thought I was going to be soon after the first go around…well, we all know how that turned out!!

I am feeling more and more like myself daily and I thank God all the time for it.
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