Monday, March 18, 2013

Big week

So much for having a true “off week” from cancer land – I guess I can never step off the board and stop playing this game since it is my life?!?!

I have my 4 week follow up MRI tomorrow and my every 3 month PET scan on Friday.

I also have lunch penciled in on the ole calendar 2 days this week, so I will just look forward to those days and hope that takes my mind off waiting for all the results.

I do think waiting is one of the hardest part.

Sometimes I get the results the same day, sometimes it takes a full other day…I just never know. And either way my mind starts playing tricks on me…it is taking so long because Dr H is looking into other opinions, it is taking so long because nothing has changes and they have bigger fish to fry…it truly is a mind game that can take me on an ugly and scary ride.

I TRY not to let it. I try to remember to pray for strength and patience, but sometimes the “what ifs” get in first and take over and I can’t pull out of the spiral. 

I am going to try a new approach – I am going to put post-it notes all over with one simple word – pray to remember no matter where my mind is taking me at that moment to look to my heart instead…I will let you know how that goes!

My PET is on a Friday so  likely I won’t know the results until Monday and since Dr H consults the “brain team” (my new name for my team of 4 doctors who look at all my test results, discuss and then let me in on the secret) (and which by the way, I am NOT complaining about this as I am so very thankful to have these talented people look over all this and truly care about the outcome)

My cancer land b*tches have big weeks too. A new drug for one and a boob off for the other (I know – it sounds crass but it is what it is)

If you have extra room on your prayer list, please add us 3 playing this game of cancer land.

1 comment:

Monica said...

Lots of prayers and good juju to you, Renee!