Tuesday, September 4, 2012

My power works best in weakness.


My power works best in weakness.

2 Corinthians 12:9

It is true – I never notice the power, the strength, the grace of God more than when I feel weak, scared, lost…

I don’t know why, but it always amazes me when I do my daily devotional and when I read it, it seems like it was truly written just for me and the exact time I need it.

In church Sunday, they sang a song that more than hit home – it touched my heart in a deep place…a place that used to not get touched much, but as this life continues a place that gets touched more often and because of it, I am a different person.

I pray for you

You pray for me

We watch God change things

Yes I am scared. Yes the thought of the upcoming surgery freaks me out. Yes I want wake up and realize this is a bad dream. Yes I am trying to control other things because this is so far out of my control. Yes I have been praying like a mad woman. Yes I believe all this will ok. Yes I believe I will come out of this with flying colors, a cool new scare and a stronger heart. Yes it sucks…big time.

It has all really hit home today – the bigness of the whole situation…making the appointments, having people come in to be with us…I feel like I am arranging my life from a faraway place.

I still get waves of this floating sensation – it is a half dream/half-awake feeling – then the reality of it all crashes into me and then I am fully awake with WTF is happening/how did this happen/when will this stop and so much more.

The next few days will be crazy.  Please know that all your messages, emails, etc are truly loved and welcomed – even if I don’t answer back.

Tomorrow

1045: meet with the neurosurgeon

After that; go do pre-op check in and talk with the drug dr (I can NOT for the life of me spell the correct word)

Thursday

800 PET scan

Get clear PET results and word from BSI company that I can stay on BSI and continue on it next week

Friday – go into surgery

I have had a lot of people ask what we need – I don’t know.  I wish I knew, but I just don’t know at this point.

For now, please just pray for us.

I will have Eric send an email on Friday.  If you would like to be added to the email list, please shot me an email at reneelinke513@yahoo.com
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