This past week was a tough week for me – very tough.
My fatigue seemed to take on a new life of its own and my mind wouldn’t turn off so when I was trying to rest, I wasn’t able to.
I realized something this week though – I think depression has set in more – which is such an weird thing because I all I want to do it think of my last CT scan and the wonderful words on it, but I still have these hopeless feelings, lack of desire, and a sadness – crying at the drop of a hat.
I know, it would seem that I could easily chalk these emotions/feelings up to chemo, but I have been depressed before and this feels all too familiar.
I am going to find a talk therapist and talk to my oncologist to up my lexapro.
Going through this makes me wonder though – how many times does a person going through chemo or any major illness become depressed and it gets does get chalked up to chemo side effects?
Feeling depressed sucks. I tried to tell myself I could snap out of it or to stop feeling sorry for myself, but I know this is something I can’t just snap out of on my own…just like I can’t make my cancer go away without chemo.