Monday, September 12, 2011

Chemo Chronicle 3.7 & Trip

Friday was a long day, but a good day. I changed my appointment from 9:30 to 10:30, so I could be the one to take Ian to his first day of school…which was a breeze. He didn’t mind at all and although he wouldn’t say it, I think he was a little excited to get back into a routine – yes, he is my child.

And this was my first Friday to fly solo – Eric needed to work while I was there so he could pick Ian up at 2:30. I saw Lisa, the nurse practitioner, and we just visited for a while – which is so nice. My blood counts are holding pretty steady – my hemoglobin is creeping down. She said a small tid bit about if it gets down in the 8’s we will talk about a blood infusion – it is 10.4 right now. Next Friday I will see my Dr. and also find out when my next CT scan will be – I am really hoping it is after next Fridays round.

I read most of the day while there, Eric made it up to visit me for an bit and I was finally released to leave at 4:40 – it was a long day, but I held tight to God’s plan anytime I would start getting anxious. I am trying hard to lean on God more during my difficult time instead of letting the craziness of all this get to me and beat me down. And I figured out yesterday that I would rather be there by myself and have Eric available to Ian verses sitting up there with me – both of us doing nothing and living in limbo…at least if he is at work during that time I don’t feel so guilty about all this because he can be with Ian after school.

Our trip to MI was nice – a little tiring but nice. We got home late Wednesday night and spent Thursday trying to get back in the swing of things around here – trying.

Ian had a fabulous time with his cousins – it was so cute to see them all together. He didn’t really want Hanna hugging him which is hard to explain to a 2-year old that he just isn’t a hugger and doesn’t like people in “his” space. All turned out well though.

I managed to get in a little relaxing and I followed my heart that was telling me to talk to Eric’s older sister about some stuff that has been heavy on my heart lately. She is one of the strongest people I know in her faith and I just had some questions for her about well, my faith – sometimes my lack of faith, God’s plan and how to stay strong in faith when some days it all seems to be crumbling around me. It refilled my soul to hear her say that bad things happen to good people and that this isn’t my fault – Eric tells me this but to hear it from someone else is refreshing in a way I couldn’t have imagined.

The weather was MUCH different than here in Austin – it rained, some days it was high in the low 70’s and all days I had to wear a fleece at some point – I must admit, it was nice to have a break from this crazy heat.

It was great to see everyone, but it was nice to return home too.

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