This is not at all what I had prepared myself for.
I got the call late Monday afternoon with my PET scan results.
I am still numb, confused, p*ssed off and asking why?
What I thought was extremely good news now turns out to be just okay news. I thought ALL the bone stuff was gone, but after getting the actual report yesterday and reading it – I still have stuff on my left shoulder. I so wanted all the bone stuff to be gone.
The bad news – the one spot on my lungs that was left has grown from 1.8 cmX1.3 cm at the time of the CT in May to 2.4 cm X 1.4 cm now, and I “think” this is actually a lymphnode, but I won’t know fore sure until Friday. And there is a new spot that is 4 mm…not big enough for the PET to tell what it is.
I am numb – I am not sure what to think, what to do, anything. This seems to be a bigger shock to me than the diagnoses, but I may have just forgotten that already.
From what Eric has read, this isn’t all that uncommon – it was uncommon how well I responded to the Axbraxian in the first place. He also read that many people have to try a few different chemos through their journey because the cancer adapts to the chemo – which is just so crazy to me.
I was just so sure I was done. I was so sure everything was working the way it should….I was so sure of it all. I just wanted a break from this so badly. I just didn’t want to have to think about “what ifs” anymore. I feel defeated.
But not for a second will I stop fighting…I have too much to fight for.
I live with stage IV metastatic breast cancer that has caused 3 brain surgeries and leukemia that required a bone marrow transplant. . I like to write about life - and I don't hold back! My mission is to always remind myself and others anything is possible,
6 comments:
I'm so sorry Renee. Lots of hugs for you.
Hey, Renee...I know this isn't the results we were all hoping for. I'm sorry. But, you've got a lot of ammo in your arsenal to get rid of this stuff. Please know that you and your family are never far from my thoughts and prayers, and if you need anything, please let me know! XOXO
Hang in there, Renee! You can totally do this. Sending happy thoughts and prayers for healing your way. Hugs, Dinora
I know this is not what you wanted to hear. It is definitely mixed news. I can only imagine how tiring this must be for you, and this scan was a bit of a let down, and I know you want a break and to relax...But you are right, you have too much to live for and must keep fighting. We love you.
Renee,
We are all behind you to give you strength to get through this. I hope you feel all the love and support your friends and family are sending you. Lots of love.
Laurie
Keep Fighting Renee. My thoughts and prayers are with you! Sophie
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