Sunday, October 5, 2008

The Day before it all beginnings…a happy jumbled mess.

Today was a fabulous but emotional day – yes, I broke my rule about mascara – I wore it but I cried.

How it began
With Ian waking up at 3:30 a.m. with hurting gums because he is cutting not only his top set of one-year molars but his bottom set also. He was up and down from 3:30 to 5:30. I had originally told Eric I would get bug all night being as he was beat from his day at the lake but after an hour of up and down, he stepped in to help. And hey, I said I need to learn to expect help so I stated turning that leaf at 4:30 this morning.
Ian decided at promptly 7:00 it was time to wake, so I got up with him and feed him breakfast because he was STARVING being as he hadn’t eaten in a few hours! After some serious silly time we had to get ready for church.

The First Run
During church this morning something crazy happened – I cried like a baby. I am still not sure what stirred inside of me to make me cry like I did, but I just felt so moved there and so connected to my spirit and God, I was brought to tears. This was a very humbling experience for me to show my emotions so openly to a room full of strangers. Those emotions are usually reserved for my family and my close friends. Very few people in my life have ever seen my cry before and I realized today that was because I never wanted to make myself vulnerable to anyone. It was actually a very liberating experience to cry without inhabitations and not care what anyone thought about it.

The Phone Call
That made me laugh so hard I almost cried – Patty Cakes (aka, my brother in law, Sara’s husband) called to tell me TYSON TUTON was calling to wish me luck tomorrow. Now, very few of you will understand how flipping funny this was. A tiny bit of back story here – I told Sara and Pat during a marshmallow roast over the 4th of July about an incident from my past – when I might or might not have hit my boyfriend at the time (Tyson) with my car. Now, Pat thought his name was the funniest part of the whole story and instantly developed a voice for him – it made me laugh that night and it made me laugh even more this morning.

I Cheated
On Crystal, my hair girl as I call her but she is more than that, she is my friend, but d*mn she costs a lot. I decided I needed to get my hair cut before all this start for two reasons – one was my hair was long for me. It had been 8 weeks since my last hair cut and it was flipping out all over the place. So, I figured it will be easier for me when my hair does fall out if the pieces falling out are short verses long luscious locks. :-P
Secondly, I think/hope Ian will have any easier time with me losing my hair if he is used to shorter hair for a few weeks. I have also started wearing a hat more around the house so he can be used to me in a hat and that won’t be shock to me.
So, back to why I cheated on Crystal- because I wasn’t going to pay how much I normally pay to get my hair cut for it to fall out in two or so weeks. I did something I have never done before – I went to JC Penny for a hair cut. Now, not that I think ANYTHING is wrong with that, I just trust Crystal so much with my hair that going somewhere else never entered my mind. But lo and behold, it looks adorable.

Back Again
After I got home with my new do, the three of us packed it up again to head back to JC Penny for Ian’s one – year pictures – yes a month in half late. He was a mess, he was running around laughing like a mad man but any time he needed to stay on the red spot for the pictures, he was having none of that. So out of the 7 shots she was able to take, we got 5 super cute one – not a bad average.

Second Run
Now, I had talked to everyone in my family, Eric’s family and a few friends with no tears all day. Then mom and I had a scheduled a “meeting” at 8:00 for her to show me how to do something and for me to help her register for the Koman walk and for us to look at some head scarves I found. After talking for 45 minutes I knew it was time for me to tell her good nigh and that is when I lost it. There is something about talking to my mom that makes me melt down like Ian does.

One more time
For the cheese and bubbly for Eric and myself. It was great to sit and talk about what we are both thinking and feeling about the upcoming weeks, our plans for bad days – if there are any (fingers crossed) and just where we are at in our spiritual lives, in our family and with each other. I think we feel in love again tonight.
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