As I sit here with my chemo being dripped into me, I don’t feel any different than I felt a little over a month ago before I knew any of this was going on inside of me. I still feel happy and alive with an inner peace knowing I am going to okay after this – hell, I am going to be better! I am by far the youngest person in the chemo room – yes, even younger than Eric who is sitting right here beside me. There seems to be much more commotion in here today than last time, but I might not remember all the details of last time being as I was so apprehensive of what was going to happen and when.
There is one man in here alone which makes me sad for him but he seems to be doing okay. Another man just walked in with his wife and he looks scared and a little pissed off. There is a lady to my left who literally has purple hair – I am not sure if she died it that color in the anticipation of it falling out soon or what? She has lots of visitors here with her, so I am guessing she is a first timer. There is a sweet old couple across from me who were here last time. The husband is getting the chemo and the wife sits there with him holding his hand. That is only my row; there are two other rows of people which seem just as busy. That tells me one thing; there are way too many people with cancer in this world.
Yowzers, my nose just got that “breathing cold air feeling” all the sudden. Honestly, I forgot all about that and it just took me by complete surprise.
I have been warned that I will more than likely be even more tired and with less of an appetite than last time, but if that is the worst of it, I can/will take that. My blood counts all look good still and the best news of all, my dr. says the tumor feels smaller to her (which is what I thought also) and feels not as dense – all great news and we know the chemo is working. And, I didn’t lose any more weight since last week, so everyone was happy with that. If I haven’t said this before, I am sure I will say it again – I love my doctor. When I told her about me having problems sleeping, she gave me a prescription for ambien. I told her I had heard of people getting “hooked” and did she see any truth in that. Her response was, well those people usually chase the pills with whiskey and go looking for hookers at the capital. If you can stay away for the last two, I think we are good. I LOVE HER – that is so something I would say to someone!
While out on our sushi date last night, Eric and I decided to name this tumor. After thinking about it for a minute, Eric came up with Bill so when we refer to it, we can say KILL BILL!! So, when you see me write about Bill, know that it is the tumor I am referring to and I am not cheating on my husband like I cheated on Crystal – which I have total cheaters remorse about. My hair has not started falling out but is doing this weird puffing thing on top because it wasn’t cut right. OH WELL!
All in all, if my weird puffing hair is all I can think of that is the least bit wrong in my life right now, I know I am on the right path both mentally and physically. In a little over an hour, I will be 25% done with my chemo treatments!