My power works best in weakness.
2 Corinthians 12:9
It is true – I never notice the power, the strength, the
grace of God more than when I feel weak, scared, lost…
I don’t know why, but it always amazes me when I do my daily
devotional and when I read it, it seems like it was truly written just for me
and the exact time I need it.
In church Sunday, they sang a song that more than hit home –
it touched my heart in a deep place…a place that used to not get touched much,
but as this life continues a place that gets touched more often and because of
it, I am a different person.
I pray for you
You pray for me
We watch God change things
Yes I am scared. Yes the thought of the upcoming surgery
freaks me out. Yes I want wake up and realize this is a bad dream. Yes I am
trying to control other things because this is so far out of my control. Yes I
have been praying like a mad woman. Yes I believe all this will ok. Yes I
believe I will come out of this with flying colors, a cool new scare and a
stronger heart. Yes it sucks…big time.
It has all really hit home today – the bigness of the whole
situation…making the appointments, having people come in to be with us…I feel
like I am arranging my life from a faraway place.
I still get waves of this floating sensation – it is a half
dream/half-awake feeling – then the reality of it all crashes into me and then I
am fully awake with WTF is happening/how did this happen/when will this stop
and so much more.
The next few days will be crazy. Please know that all your messages, emails,
etc are truly loved and welcomed – even if I don’t answer back.
Tomorrow
1045: meet with the neurosurgeon
After that; go do pre-op check in and talk with the drug dr
(I can NOT for the life of me spell the correct word)
Thursday
800 PET scan
Get clear PET results and word from BSI company that I can
stay on BSI and continue on it next week
Friday – go into surgery
I have had a lot of people ask what we need – I don’t
know. I wish I knew, but I just don’t
know at this point.
For now, please just pray for us.
I will have Eric send an email on Friday. If you would like to be added to the email
list, please shot me an email at reneelinke513@yahoo.com
3 comments:
I love your new blog layout. I am praying for you and for the doctors and your family. Everything will be OK and come next week you will wonder why you were scared. (Probably not, but it is a good thought). Hang in there beautiful lady, we are all on our side. ((Hugs))
i am sad to read that you are facing another challenge. i am hoping and wishing with all my might that you are able to continue on your current regimen and that your scan comes back indicating you are still NED. i hope the surgery goes as quickly and as well as it possibly can considering the enormity of it. i would love to help in any way i can and will check with other local moms to see if there's a way i can pitch in (i met you briefly through a member of the pflugerville moms and kids meetup group several years ago).
Renee, I'm Meg and Lori's oldest sister, Jenni. I just wanted to let you know that I continue to watch your story unfold and continue to pray for God's hands to completely heal you. You have been on my prayer list for some time now, and I will continue to lift you up each day. May God bless you and your sweet little family. Love, Jenni Davis Archer
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