The long and short of it all – I had steroid psychosis after
radiation because the radiated spot was still swelling, they thought steroids would
bring the swelling down – it didn’t and the steroids pretty much made me
crazy. I couldn’t get out of bed, I was
having panic attacks, I couldn’t eat, I cried all the time – I was a mess….a
real mess.
Dr. H checked me into the hospital last Thursday to get me off
the steroids. There we found my adrenal gland was super low and am now on medication
to help that too.
I got out of the hospital on Saturday and was starting to
feel more like myself – able to function at least.
I had to BSI Monday, an appointment with the neurosurgeon on
Tuesday and BSI on Wednesday.
From the MRI I had in the hospital, it is showing there is
still a “mass” in the same spot that is changing. The neurosurgeon thinks it is another tumor,
the radiation oncologist thinks it is necrosis from radiation (pretty much a
big mass of dead cells that aren’t going away) and Dr H. just wants it out to
figure out what it is.
So with that, I am
going back into surgery on Monday to have the mass removed. This has been a
really good week though. I feel normal
in the head again (not crazy....able to function again), my sister and her family came down for Thanksgiving dinner that my
friends ordered in for us, and mom is still here to help which has been a true
God send.
I have felt all along that something wasn’t right – I wasn’t
healing the way I was supposed to – something.
I can say I was losing faith that it was going to be okay,
but somehow I am peace with the surgery and feel that no matter what it is in
there, once it is out all will be well again.
I am having the same symptoms as before so I know there is
something in there – numb feet, slight headache and blurry vision on and off –
which could be from necrosis – it is just from something being in there.
Now there is a slight chance the MRI on Monday before
surgery will show the whole thing gone and there won’t be surgery.
I need prayers – good energy – everything y’all got.
Please pray:
The MRI is a clear cut answer – I don’t want to have to make
a decision on Monday. I am praying for
it to either be completely gone or not. I know that is weird, but I don't want it gone 50% then have to decide what to do.
If surgery happens, it is easy, successful and recovery is quick.
That God’s hands guide all of this and has complete control
of it all.
