I got the call that I will never forget. “Renee, Dr H. wants to see you today – there is something showing up on your CT scan.”
My world…our world promptly started spinning out of control.
I had no idea what was in store for me, I had no idea what the next weeks would hold, much less the next whole year…but, here we are, one year later and now I know:
I know I can do this – I can and will fight for my life with every ounce of my being.
I know how truly blessed I am – my friends and family totally railed around us, put up a protective barrier and took care of us…they took care of me when I was sure I couldn’t do chemo anymore, when I was sure my Lexapro was not working just right, when I had nothing left to give them – they took care of me.
I know what an amazing husband I have…I knew this before, but now I KNOW it! He has been my rock in so many ways. He never once asked more of me than what I was able to give – heck, he never even ask anything from me.
I know that Ian’s smiles, hugs and kisses…his presence can cure a lot of pain and heartache without him even realizing what he is doing.
I know that miracles do happen…I am one.
I know that God has me covered in love and is with me every single step of the way – with or without cancer.
I know now what true inner peace feels like and I know God gives me that inner peace.
I know now what truly turning something over to God is like and how to 100% depend on Him.
I know now that I am extremely grateful for being able to fold clothes, unload the dishwasher, do routine chores….it is a HUGE blessing to feel like doing that stuff….both physically and mentally.
I know now to tell everyone in my life what they mean to me, how much I love them, etc all the time…if I want to hear it from them then they want to hear it from me.
I know I do like having hair verses not – I LOVE IT!
I know that I don’t want to see what it would grow in like a 3rd time.
I know painting fills my soul with goodness.
I know that I can honestly say, stage IV, smage IV…I’ve got this.
I can’t wait to see what the next year has in store for us and what another year full of blessing will teach me.