Saturday, August 6, 2011

Chemo Chronicle 3.2

Still no word on the trial…the research nurse is 99% confident I will get in, but says she won’t be happy until we have it in writing – I am going with that also.
Treatment was easier today. It lasted a little over 3 hours and instead of watching trashy TV I decided to meditate and envision my cancer cells being blown up by the chemo – hey, whatever I can do to help. My white blood count is low, so I have to get a nuelasta shot on Monday.

Last week’s treatment treated me pretty good. I was really tired, but I never got too nauseated. I just felt morning sick a few days but nothing that made it impossible to go with the day. I did have trouble eating which s*cks. Nothing but crap sounds good, so on one hand this is affecting me a lot like A/C did (the first chemo I ever did).

I think all this is catching up with Ian which seriously breaks my heart. He told Gina last week that he didn’t like going to her house because it always meant I had to go to the doctor. She is so great with him and told him that no matter if he was at her house or home with BB, I would still have to go to the doctors. Both Eric and I have made a conscience effort to talk as openly as possible with him about it – which is so hard. I want to shelter him from all this, but that is not looking like it is possible. I made him an appointment for Wonders & Worries in 2 Tuesdays. We hadn’t done this before because well, we didn’t think this was going to go on for this long…now, well, we don’t know when it will actually end.

Another thing that is on my mind is this whole going vegan bit. Marci told me to pray about it – I did. I prayed for an answer and today my friend sent me an email with info for this coming movie:

I am going to order it on August 9th. I am thinking this is an answer to my prayer but in all honesty I am not excited in the least bit about going vegan which I don’t know if that is going to make it easier or harder – I guess I wasn’t excited about giving up sugar or wine either. But on days when I don’t feel like eating (Sundays and Mondays) just the thought of rice and tofu make me want to vomit. I also don’t like to cook – never have. I would assume eating vegan means me cooking all the time and honestly I don’t have the energy to cook. I want to do everything I possibly can to help get this cancer out of my body – does that mean going vegan? Would doing it some days help – I just don’t know.

It seems that people did like the specific prayer requests from last week, so I am going to continue those. Please pray that I get into the trail and that my energy returns for Ian’s birthday party next Saturday. We are keeping it small this year because in the past he was overwhelmed with the amount of people who were there. Eric read somewhere a kid should have the number of guests at the party as the age they are turning – we aren’t doing only 4 guests but not many more. He got to make his guest list of his friends and I just said ok, it is your party you invite your friends! I really hope this party lives up to his expectations – he has been talking about it since March.
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