I didn’t know what to expect going into this appointment – would she tell me no more chemo like my friend heard a few weeks ago, would tell she me we were going to change my schedule – do less or more chemo – I just didn’t know.
The getting there was much easier this morning since Ian stayed home with my Aunt verses us taking him to Gina’s – hence we didn’t have to get him dressed and put together too – I might start sending him to Gina’s in p.j.s – she doesn’t know this yet though! :-P
The nurse doing my port was quite the character and really had me wondering if I should be letting this guy stick me in the chest…then he told me he “calms” people down by feeding them all this bullsh*t, then POKE and all is done – well it worked – I was NOT thinking about the port poke with him telling us these stories.
When Dr. H walked in she said, “There is my girl with the great scans” and gave me a big hug. That made it all real – I did have great scans…they didn’t accidently call the wrong person (yes, until I heard it from her I didn’t really want to believe it).
She did say she was unexpectedly surprised by how well the first two rounds of chemo worked and that honestly she had never seen 2 rounds of Abraxane work that well – and I told her I was an overachiever. And what I thought about me having 2 spots left on my lungs – I only have ONE TINY SPOT left. We still don’t know about the bones but will in 8 weeks!
And yes, for those wondering – my oncology skills are spot on! 2 more rounds of chemo (so 6 more treatments) then a PET scan – I told her that is what I said she would say and we decided I might not need an oncologist anymore!!
A few things I didn’t know or think about - I didn’t know HOW many spots in my lungs I started out – like 20 or how big the big one in the middle of my lungs was – like a racquetball.
I didn’t think about my “maintenance” after I was done with chemo – I thought when I am done, I am done – not the case. And the thing is, they don’t really have a maintenance protocol in place for triple negative people – for estrogen positive there is tomoxophin that people usually take for 5 years to suck the estrogen out of their bodies, for HER 2 positive there is herceptin (not sure what this does) but since I am trip neg my cancer isn’t caused by something producing too much of something. She wants to talk with the MD Anderson doctor to see if they have or will be having any maintenance trials happening soon and if not, I might stay on abraxane once a month/every six weeks until something comes out. The good news is triple negative is the “hot spot” in cancer research right now, so hopefully there will be a maintenance drug out in the next two years that isn’t chemo.
I was a little in shock about all this yesterday – I just didn’t think about having stuff to do after chemo – I just so wanted to hear – 2 more rounds and then done, done, DONE – not the case….at all.
I was talking to my friend who got clean scans after 6 months of chemo and it was nice to talk to her about this. We both agreed – it is hard to be excited – yes, it is an absolute miracle but it isn’t over – will it ever be over – the thoughts of cancer, having some sort of cancer treatment going into our bodies – cancer talk – it might not ever be over and that is hard to accept.