Waiting Game

I had a bit of a melt down last night when Eric got a message from ARA telling him that I couldn’t get my scan today because they hadn’t received authorization for insurance. I freaked – I was thinking, “OH no, what if insurance won’t pay??” to “SH*T, I should have called the insurance girl back today” (because yes I had a message from a girl at my insurance. It took all I had to talk myself down off the ledge and to be able to fall asleep last night. I had been waiting for this day, this scan, this news, this everything for three weeks.

To say I was devastated would be putting it lightly.

I promptly got up at 7:00 this morning to start calling the insurance and figure out what in the h*ll was going on. Then it was 8:00 and still nothing was solved. Finally at 8:45 ish I got a hold of Erica at TOC and all was well. I was too late to make my 10:00 though, so I rescheduled for 3:15.

I tried to read the tech’s face, I tried to get something out of her – I tried….and failed! She said my doctor would have the results in a few hours.

Now I wait….until tomorrow.

I can’t even begin to define my feelings – excited to see how well the chemo is working, nervous – of course and so many more feelings, emotions and thoughts all mixed in – all riding on this one CT Scan.

And yes I will post something as soon as I know!