Today started out wonderful, went downhill a bit to good and finally to ugh.
Of course it started early at 6:40 – why does Ian’s internal clock go off at 6:40 no matter what time he goes to bed?!?! Snuggled in bed, ate breakfast, yummy coffee (no more vanilla creamer for me – yes I am proud), made lunch for me and Eric to take to chemo (a big fat salad with yummy veggies and avocado and Melba toast if you are wondering!) and played, played, played with Ian. For those sweet hours of play I forgot what the rest of my day held for me – it was pure sweet bliss.
Took Ian over to Gina’s because she has so graciously volunteered to watch him on Fridays until this summer when his mother’s day out will be M/W/F – seriously not sure what I would do without the help of my girls.
Got to TOC, checked in, blood drawn (ONE STICK TODAY!!!), vitals checked and good to go. Talked to Lisa, Dr H’s nurse practitioner, my blood levels are fabulous, she told me I CAN take TWO Alieve at a time for bone pain (YIPPIE!!), we talked about a test they sent my tumor to have – pretty much DNA testing on my tumor and it came back with what chemos it WILL respond to and I am on one of the three that it WILL respond to!!
Dr H stepped in to say hi and to check on me (yes, I do love my oncologist!). We chatted about a friend of mine I met through the pink ribbon cowgirls who was diagnosed in November as Stage IV right off the bat – her last PET scan – NADA – all disease is gone. I told Dr H I heard what she did for her and I am shooting for clean PET scan in 6 months. They laughed and called me an overachiever but to hear Dr H tell me she has big plans for me and she is ready to knock this sh*t out of the park – made my heart smile. NOW that is what I am talking about!!
Visited with Erica for a few minutes and she gave me this awesome piece of canvas that says F*CK BREAST CANCER – I am going to make a cute canvas with this. Hopefully something she can set at her desk – I need to figure out how the make F*CK a little less there!
Got called back, got hooked up with no trouble, said a quick prayer and then the drip began. I visited with a sweet mom sitting across from me, Eric and I enjoyed our lunch, I made flowers and put together necklace chains for necklaces (Kate has requested inventory from me for an upcoming show) and chatted with Eric. Nothing exciting – easy.
Oh yeah, port is scheduled for Tuesday. I have to be there at 6:00 a.m. – UGH.
Home, picked up Ian, hung out at Gina’s for a bit, home to watch a little rest time t.v., started feeling blah but headed outside to let Ian play with the neighbors and they are so great with him that I could just sit and rest.
Ate leftovers from dinner that Kate brought last night and called it good.
I did find it very interesting though when I sat down to do my nightly writing. Eric’s sisters, mom and GG got me this great little book “God’s Inspirational Promises,” I opened it up and it landed on the page about courage. The message was “the disciples were common men given a compelling task. Before they were the stained glass saints, they were somebody’s next-door-neighbors trying to make a living and raise a family. There weren’t cut from theological cloths or raised on supernatural milk. But they were an ounce more devoted than they were afraid and, as a result, did some extraordinary things.”
Again, just what I needed to hear tonight. They were people, like you and me….simple as that. All it takes is a little courage and miracles are possible.
Yes, I am holding out for my miracle and I feel it in my being that it is there ready to be had.