Monday, January 12, 2009

Chemo Chronicle #8

And with that, I am happily say, I AM DONE WITH CHEMO!!!! I am DONE, DONE, DONE with chemo. This is one of the BEST feelings ever to be able to say this – I AM DONE!!

And for those wondering, I rang the sh*t out of that bell!

Today was a good day. We got there at 9:30, which was later than the normal. So, I was all packed up and ready to go around 8:15 and then just pretty much paced the whole time just waiting until 9 so we can go. We got there, and actually had to wait which I have never really had to wait before. Anyway, after seeing the Dr., getting my port drawn, I was off to the chemo room where I was greeted with a beautiful bouquet of flowers from Marci and family.

Chemo was chemo – nothing exciting. Had to ice bath the ole hands and feet, Eric left for lunch around 11:00 and then we hung out. I visited with a few other patients around me and then we gave the nurses the cookie cake we brought. They didn’t really seem hip on the idea of sharing with everyone as they snatched it up and took it to the back – oh well, I am glad they enjoyed it.

The time actually went by pretty quick today – I don’t know if it was because I was so excited or if it was because Eric and I worked on a few things together. Whatever, it was quick and now I am DONE!!!!

My nurse came over and uncooked my port and then all the nurses came over and threw confetti at me and then I walked over and rand the sh*t out of that bell – oh my goodness, it felt so good to ring that bell and know this chapter in my life is over.

I still had a lot of confetti on me when I got home and shook it off in the kitchen and it reminded me of the confetti filled house I left Eric after my bachorelette party and I had to go to Dallas to see my dad– he told me he didn’t mind cleaning up this confetti mess!

It is kind of strange thinking – what next? I know what next, surgery and radiation but no more chemo. No more living my life two weeks at a time - no more thinking, okay, I will feel bad on these day and hopefully feel good on such and such day. I am just be me again.

My Dr. reminded me once again this morning that just because I am done with chemo for me not to expect to feel normal in two or three weeks – boo to that. She said a lot of people wake up about a year later and say, I am normal.

I am guessing it is kind of like a break up when in the beginning you think you can’t make it at all and day by day you start to miss that person less and less and then one day you wake up and you are over it – you don’t think about that person, you aren’t sad, you aren’t anything but yourself again and you don’t notice it in the beginning because you aren’t thinking about it but then you notice you haven’t thought about it and you know, your life had changed for the better and you will be okay. I am so looking forward to that day…where I don’t have a body scan scheduled, I don’t have to go to dr. for blood work, where I wake up rested and not fatigued, when I do I can go run – hell, I will even take a mile right now, when I wake up and know I am back to myself – now be it, myself is a new person. I have really grown through this and can’t wait to continue on my personal growth and spiritual journeys I started with this. One other thing I have found out about myself – is that I can do anything and I will do anything/everything I put my mind and soul into.
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