Monday, September 22, 2008

Mascara

Today is the first day since I heard the news that I have worn mascara. No, not because all my eyelashes fell out and then grew back – do you think I will lose my eyelashes?? Eh, whatever. I wore it again today and will continue to wear it daily because I have decided there will be no more tears shed to this illness. I have realized that I have so much to be thankful for and I am so much to so many people, I don’t have time to cry about what might be – I only have time to be thankful for what is.

I started thinking about how many people are in my life and how many people are in my corner to beat this and it was truly overwhelming the love I felt just thinking about it. So with that, I made a list of who I am and need to be for the people in my life and who I love to be for them.

I am: a mother to Ian – he needs me to be a fun, upbeat, wise mother to tell him that I KNOW what he has been up to when he is a teenager because I did what he is doing.
A wife to Eric – he needs me to keep him company, hold hands with and just love, he needs me to tell him all my crazy ideas and him be able to help me figure out a way can make them a reality.
A sister – Rachele needs me to help her pick out clothes (although she doesn’t listen to my advice, she needs it ;-P), she needs me to be her little sister who she can help me find my way when I am lost.
A daughter to my mom and dad – they both need me in such different ways. Mom needs me to talk to at least 2 times a day (if she hadn’t switched from Sprint, I wouldn’t be in my minute crisis), and to laugh with her and give fashion advice (luckily, she does listen) and to let her baby me still (hey, I really don’t mind it). Dad needs me to talk to him and let him know how much he means to me.
I am a daughter-in-law and sister-in-law – they need me to actually tell them what is going on. Eric likes to skim the surface but I will give them the meat of the matter. They need to know that Eric is taken care of and they don’t need to worry about his happiness.
My friends and family – they all need me to be there for them to listen to, and give advice to (sometimes unsolicited!), to laugh with, to make laugh, to drink wine with, eat yummy food (I will have to cheat on the diet occasionally), make cute things for and hug.
I am an aunt to 3 wonderful kids that need a fun and “hip” aunt they know they can talk to when they don’t want to talk to their own parents.
I am a granddaughter, a niece, a cousin and much more to so many. I am so much to so many others and when I think of this, all I can think of is, how blessed am I to have all these people in my life who need ME?
So with that, I don’t have time to feel sorry for myself or wish this away, all I have time is to enjoy everyone around me and all they give me in return. Please, if you take anything away from me going through this, take this away, look at those in your life and know how blessed you are for what you have.
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