A long time ago, my husband and I gave each other permission to call each other out...
We can call each other out on our own BS.
Some of the things we call each other on is hard to both be the caller of or the receiver of...seeing your sh*t is hard BUT necessary.
These past few days I have been letting anxiety clench me in it’s jaws...yes, I realize I am being dramatic.
But after some self-reflection journaling, meditation, a talk about the monsters in my closet with my husband, and taking a hard look at what I am or am not doing to contribute to the anxiety or the soothing of it, I have decided that I am done rolling around in my mind...rolling around in my self pity...rolling around in the 500 yards of sh*t because I have already crawled through miles of sh*t and deep down I know what I need to do to get through this.
I am going to stop dwelling in what was because what was isn’t what is and the more I try to hold on to what was, the more strife I am causing myself.
I am going to stop dwelling in what sucks about whatever situation I am dwelling in because I realize that by dwelling in the suck, I am adding fuel to the fire instead of dumping water on it to put it out.
I am going to practice more of what I preach with not beating myself up because something isn’t 100% correct or easy and acknowledge that me showing up and doing something...anything is way more than simply sitting back and running scenarios through my mind.
Today has already been SO MUCH BETTER simply because I made the decision to shift my focus...shifted from looking at what was wrong/annoying/hard/lost to intentionally looking for where the light is leaking through and finding cool shapes in the shadows.
I hope you can find something fun in the shadows too.