Thursday, December 18, 2014

Dear breast cancer sisters

Dear breast cancer sisters,
I am “classified as a stage 4er cancer” woman.

Six years ago I was classified as Stage 1, triple negative. Went through chemo, surgery & radiation…got clean and clear!

15 months later I was classified Stage 4…cancer was in my lungs, bones and nodes.  Chemo got me clean again for 8 months only to have cancer come back again and this time it was pissed.

It was in my brain.
3 – yes THREE brain surgeries within 10 months  was what it took to remove breast cancer from my brain.

After said surgeries, I had to relearn a few things due to numbness in my body: walk, drive, stand for more than 3 minutes, bend down to load/unload dishwasher and many more activities I never thought twice about before I could no longer do them.
Fast forward to today.

Today, I sit here 18 months later…CANCER FREE!!

I have been cancer free in my body for THREE years and in my head 18 months.

This is incredible news.
I don’t write this to brag…I write this to give HOPE to all you out there who are dealing with this shit too.

Please know this has NOT been a quick or easy road.

There were MANY times I was ready to throw in the towel:
like after my first brain surgery and I had steroid psychosis, after my second brain surgery and I couldn’t walk at all, after radiation and my skin hurt so bad I didn’t know if I could with the pain anymore.

I know too many of you are on this road with me.
I know the holidays are hard to get through with “cancer” always there in the back ground.

I know how it is to wonder if this will be my last Christmas.

I know how that hole in your heart feels.

But I also know the power of Hope.

You can never let go of Hope. 

Even if you are hanging on to that string of Hope by a tiny, tiny string – you hang on to that string with ALL YOU HAVE.

You hang on to that string with every ounce of fight you have in you.

You hang on to that string of Hope like you would hang on someone trying to snatch your baby away from you.


You find something – anything every day to fight for.

If every day seems too overwhelming, you look at it minute by minute.
You look at cancer in the eyes and tell it to suck it.

Tell it that you will NOT ALLOW it to take Hope away from you.

Say it out loud.
Yell it.
Whatever you do with this, please let it reach your heart and fill it full of Hope.

It is my sincerest Hope that this message finds who it needs to at this moment.

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