I wish...

I wish I could say I am shocked

I wish I could say 3^rd time must be a charm

I wish I could say I am not scared out of my mind

I wish I could say I am strong and this too shall pass

I wish I could say I understand

I wish I could say I am not beyond pissed

I wish I could say “we have this one in the bag too – just like all the others”

But then I think – did we really ever have those other ones in the bag?

I was due for a 6 week MRI next week, but yesterday I started feeling funny – that fuzzy feeling in my head, my leg was heavy and I knew – I knew my brain tumor was back.

I called Dr. H and they got my MRI moved to yesterday.

I heard back today – it is back – the tumor is back – in the same f*cking spot and everything.

By the time Dr H called me, she had already sent my MRI report to the brain oncologist, the brain surgeon and the brain radiation dr.

Here is all I know as of this afternoon:

Tumor is 2.5x2.5 cm in the EXACT same spot

I will meet with Dr H on Monday

Dr. W (cute brain surgeon on Tues)

More than likely have brain surgery on Wed or Thursday

But I mean really – THREE F*CKING BRAIN surgeries in 9 months…9 months.

Please pray…pray for this cancer to never ever EVER come back.