Monday, September 26, 2016


I know I went through a nesting stage when I was big and pregnant with Ian. About 8 months into pregnancy it hit me like I had just run into a brick wall…HOLY SH*T life is about to be REALLY different.

Of course I had others to talk to about what to do in this nesting period, what I really needed to have arranged, what would be nice but not mandatory and so on. I also knew many people who had babies, so I was able to see firsthand what it was like to have this tiny life in your hands. How exciting yet exhausting, how blissful yet scary this new chapter was going to be.

I feel like I am in a nesting period for my new life. I am calm one minute and a nervous wreck the next, I look at what all I want to do yet stand paralyzed in my steps…my list of contradicting emotions could go on and on for pages.

Just like having a baby, as much as you plan on a certain date, you really never know until the little one is ready to bust into the world.

I have a “due” date, October 20th, BUT there are still a few minor things to get done first…get the donor to agree to this date as well. Yes, I will take prayers that I hear soon!

I am in la-la land just like when I was about to deliver. I have a list of projects that I want to get done, yet I am in a tired fog most of the time wondering which is more important…the checking off the list or “resting?” But the thing is, I am so tired of resting. I know over the next 3-4 months I will have more time resting than I can imagine is possible for one 38 year old.

Just like when I was nesting for Ian’s birth, my emotions are all over the place too. One minute I am listening to the sweet whisper of Spirit telling me all is great, the next moment my strength is cracked and I have no idea how we are going to actually pull this off.

I am Hopeful. 
I am scared. 
I am ready for this chapter to come to an end. 

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