Emotions run high

Today brings an array of emotions.

Woke up to needing to leave the house 10 minutes ago for a follow up brain MRI because the one 5 weeks ago had something “funny” on it.

Then the news of what was going on yesterday slapped me in the face:

A really good friend of mine passed away last night at the ripe young age of 43. F*cking breast cancer. I am NOT going to say she lost her battle with breast cancer because honestly if I die of breast cancer and someone writes that about me, I will be back to haunt them!

Yesterday went like this:

I went to school to watch my boy receive 2 school awards (yes, proud mom!) then I went to the hospital where Kristie and I were meeting to try to help with Holley. We were pretty sure we wouldn’t be able to see her, but we were on a mission to go make our help available to the family.

I was right with the thought of not being to see her. I get it though…I get how she doesn’t want to see many people.  She wants to process this.  She wants time with her husband, her family…everything but there isn’t much time left.

Holley’s husband, sister and best friends were there. We all shared the moments of pain, but Kristie and I made it clear we were there to help carry the burden and not roll around in the pain that was all over the place.

So we did what we do...I tried to lighten the mood and Kristie stood strong in our mission of why we were there…to get shit done! So we got to work.

We took the daunting task of writing a Facebook post to let everyone know what is going on with Holley. You see, she has a following of supporters from the video she made a while ago to educate others about Stage 4 cancer and how there is NO cure.  All these people who she had never met fell in love with her…just like I did the first time we met. We felt an obligation to let her followers know and even more so her friends who have been trying to get information and her husband just didn’t have anything left in him to give.

She passed away early this morning.

I also had a best friend celebrating her 40^th birthday today. We all went to lunch to celebrate her.

Today has been hard.

Life is so precious…ups and downs are thrown at us all the time.  I used to stand still and let these hit me in the face and look around like I didn’t see it coming.  I know a lot of things we don’t see coming, but Stage 4 breast cancer has taught me I have to roll with it…it being life.  If we don’t, the world keeps rolling without us and that sucks worse (yes, I know from experience).

So to you my dear friends, please love hard every day and be grateful life is pulsing trough you.