Friday, May 10, 2013

I wish...


I wish I could say I am shocked

I wish I could say 3rd time must be a charm

I wish I could say I am not scared out of my mind

I wish I could say I am strong and this too shall pass

I wish I could say I understand

I wish I could say I am not beyond pissed

I wish I could say “we have this one in the bag too – just like all the others”

But then I think – did we really ever have those other ones in the bag?

I was due for a 6 week MRI next week, but yesterday I started feeling funny – that fuzzy feeling in my head, my leg was heavy and I knew – I knew my brain tumor was back.

I called Dr. H and they got my MRI moved to yesterday.

I heard back today – it is back – the tumor is back – in the same f*cking spot and everything.

By the time Dr H called me, she had already sent my MRI report to the brain oncologist, the brain surgeon and the brain radiation dr.

Here is all I know as of this afternoon:

Tumor is 2.5x2.5 cm in the EXACT same spot

I will meet with Dr H on Monday

Dr. W (cute brain surgeon on Tues)

More than likely have brain surgery on Wed or Thursday

But I mean really – THREE F*CKING BRAIN surgeries in 9 months…9 months.

Please pray…pray for this cancer to never ever EVER come back.

7 comments:

Unknown said...

I wish that you and your family didn't have to go through such pain. I'll be praying for you. Sending love and strength your way.

Marta said...

I'm sorry, Renee. Good thoughts and wishes to you.

Monica said...

I'm sorry, Renee. :( my thoughts and love are with you.

Kristin said...

I am praying for you, Renee. I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this stress!

JennyP said...

Oh, Renee--I don't know you well but i used to live in WB. i am so terribly sorry for your struggles, and i will hold you and your family in prayer.

Anonymous said...

fuck, Fuck, *FUCK* cancer, Renee. I hate this FUCKING disease. Prayers for you.

catherine said...

Will be thinking of you. So sorry you have to go through this all over again.