Thursday, July 29, 2010

Too much…

Has been going on around here lately. Last I posted, grandpa passed away. We went to a-town (Amarillo) for his funeral and it REALLY put peace in my heart. We grandkids wrote his eulogy and my cousin Craig’s best friend who know grandpa for at least 20 years read it. He nailed grandpa’s little sayings that made him grandpa to us. And the service really put me at peace with everything. I miss him a ton and always will, but he is in a wonderful place and will always be watching out for us.

Now on to the now…there are many things I have always wanted to do but put off for dumb reasons. And after talking to Eric A LOT on the way home – 8 hours worth of talking - about what we want our obituaries to say (morbid, I know but it needs to be talked about) I realized I need to do what I want to in order to really be the person I want to be. I have always to learn paint and well, I decided to take a stab at it. I have been “taking” an on-line class which entails me watching different techniques. I know I have a long way to go but something wonderful happened while I was painting – I STOPPED THINKING about what needed to be, what could be, what would be – everything. I found myself in the moment and loved it.




Friday, July 16, 2010

To-do List:

Ask him about his stories
Listen to his past with undivided attention
Learn his lessons
Laugh with him
Let his laugh erupt in my ears
Hear his views
Practice his golf tips

This to-do list
was moved all around
my calendar
my mind
my heart
now, a day late
and a dollar short
the to-do list
has faded
and can no longer be read
to him
by me
the regret in my heart
is real and heavy
and will burden my sleep
forever


Grandpa – I love you so much and miss you with all my heart. You taught me more than you will ever know. Most of all you taught me not the sweat the small shit, life is too short not to be doing what I enjoy and that I can do anything I want to as long as I dedicate myself to it whole heartedly. ~ Enjoy your Peace in Heaven ~