Monday, October 4, 2010

The voice

The one that tells me to question if I am healthy, if the cancer is really gone, if I really did get the easy road out of c-ville is back and is nagging me...I am pretty sure I am not crazy, but I will rule nothing out at this point!

It is back for two reasons: one, my “cancerversary” came and went with no thought - in fact it wasn't until 2 days past it I realized it pasted - but after the diagnosis comes the chemo. I started chemo 2 years ago on 10/6 and I always (what, last year?!?!) get a little panicked when I think about it. The sh*t we went through was just that – sh*t and I in no way want to go through it ever again.

Reason two: I have heard way too many stories lately of women getting whole body cancer after breast cancer – UGH. It just never settles within me when I hear those stories.

It is odd though, I honestly do feel in my heart I will never have to visit c-ville again. So maybe if I can find a cure to shut this voice up I would be doing something great for all of us survivors?!?!For now, I must tell it to shut the hell up and hope I’m really not crazy!
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