Is all around. Now, I didn’t come up with that line myself, I just watched one of my favorite movies – Love Actually. And it is true, love actually is all around. I was at the post office the other day – BLAH, and a woman walked up to me, and asked if she could ask me a personal question. Before cancer, I didn’t open up to many people, but I have learned through this, why the hell not. It isn’t going to hurt me any to open up and it might actually help someone if I do.
I smiled and said yes. She asked if I was going through chemo and when I said yes, she gave me a cute scarf she made. She told me a little of her story – when she was going through chemo, her sister made her lots of these scarves, she just had her reconstructive surgery and just the day before had her nipples tattooed on. That might shock a lot of people, but when a person gets a mastectomy, EVERYTHING is gone – no breast tissue can be left. So in order for some woman to feel whole/normal again, they choose the tattoo route.
She asked me where I was at in my treatment, asked me if I was able to eat and told me not to worry about all the little shit in life because it just isn’t worth it. Well, how awesome was that for a total stranger to share so much of herself with me because she noticed I didn’t have hair and she took it upon herself to take a chance and come ask me something very personal.
Opening up is scary stuff. I think it is most scary to open up to myself, then to share it with others. Once you say it out loud, or in my case lately – type it out, it is real. Every thought has meaning and emotion behind and it is nothing to be embarrassed about it. This is one of the meaning life lessons I am not sure if I would have learned without Bill invading my life and you know what, this is just another reason I am thankful for Bill. Now don’t get me wrong, I am ready for that bastard to die, but I am glad he was here for a bit.