I realized tonight that I can be a huge bitch when something doesn’t go the way I THINK it should or when I am tired and more so when both are happening. I don’t mean to be a bitch and when I am being one I don’t stop to think – hey, this is wrong and STOP acting like a huge baby bitch. Instead, I go on with me being a bitch, then about 2 minutes after the fact, I realize how I was and then it is too late to apologize in person because who I was a total bitch to is gone. So, instead I write an email appolizing and then I wonder if that makes it even worse.
I so need to work on my actions in the moment. If Ian ever acted like I did tonight, I would ground him for at least two weeks – well, I say that. I really don’t know how grounding works! I have decided to try something for 2 weeks – every time I am hateful to someone for ANYTHING, I am going to put a $1 in a jar. I might be broke after this is done, but I will at least not be hateful anymore!